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I have been dating my girlfriend for the last 2 years she is divorced and I am a widow. I have made many changes in my life and home to make her feel comfortable by removing pictures of my late wife and any other items to assure her that I have moved on. The last couple of days my son 19 yrs old put up 3 pictures of his mom up on the walls 2 near their sleeping area and 1 in the family room. (To clarify I rented this home for my kids because I going to relocate to another state but it has been delayed so I am living with them for a while) Well my girlfriend got very upset and told me that she is very uncomfortable being in the home and told me that I need to do something about this. I feel that my kids have a right to put up a picture or 2 of their mom as a remembrance.January 26, 2015 at 7:25 pm #71898
I also feel that there is a double standard with her, I say this because even though she is divorced I am required to put up with her having continuous contact with her ex-husband. She says she has to because of her kids who are adults 26 and 25 yrs old. In addition I have to accept the fact that she is in love with her ex-husband daughter age 3 that he had with another women after he divorced her and treats this beautiful child as if she was her mother and again another reason to have continuous reason to be in contact with her ex. They have also been a number of times that we had to put our plans on hold because she was taking care of this child. I have expressed my feelings to her so many times till I’m blue in the face; I just don’t know what to do. I love this women like no other and I was getting ready to propose to her, but after her tantrum this weekend and all that I have done to sacrifice myself in making this relationship work I’m now having second thoughts.January 27, 2015 at 8:42 am #71899
I’m just so confused and I would like some comments from some of you.
RoxyParticipantJanuary 27, 2015 at 11:45 am #71941
Ok my honest opinion is that you need to have a serious talk with her. Calm and honest one. She is being a bit hypocritical here and I think it’s because she feels threatened by your wife’s memory. You have every right to keep pictures of her not only for your children’s sake but yours. It’s not like you and your wife divorced, she passed away so she was a big part of both yours and your children’s lives. Her reasons for keeping in constant contact with her ex husband are no where near as acceptable as your circumstances. As you said she has grown children so not like she’s organising visitation or anything. The fact that you and your wife didn’t split up and that you were left a widow is probably what’s bothering her. She may feel like you loved her more than you love her. Sounds like it’s insecurities on her side and if you want this to work try and put them insecurities at ease and explain your thoughts on the matter.
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