Dating A Guy 9 Years My Senior and Who is Also My Ex-Teacher

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Dating A Guy 9 Years My Senior and Who is Also My Ex-Teacher

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Mel4everable
    Mel4everable
    Participant
    January 31, 2018 at 12:56 pm #164026
    Dating A Guy 9 Years My Senior and Who is Also My Ex-Teacher

    A year ago, I was once the student of the guy that I currently have a crush on and who feels the same way about me. This didn’t happen overnight and neither did we build this ‘crush-ship” whilst we he was my teacher and I, his student. Actually, we hardly ever spoke and if we did it was only related to the subject I did with him. However, since I finished my A levels about 5-6 months ago, we started communicating via text since I already had his number, as I messaged him when I got back my results to thank him (something I always do with my teachers). He only asked about my plans for university and that was the end of conversation. However, he’d message me occasionally which only spanned to “how are you?” and “how is university”. It was only during the Christmas season that we began to have continuous conversations and thus feelings developed. My major concerns are: (1) is this a trend of his (younger relationships) or is this a one time instance (2) he’s 28 and I’m 19…(read below).

    Mel4everable
    Mel4everable
    Participant
    January 31, 2018 at 1:01 pm #164030

    What would my parents think or even my friends who were in the same class and know of him. (3) I am uncertain as to whether his intentions for me are pure or whether it is just a game or what’s not. I honestly just feel so confused about this entire situation. He has asked me out on two occasions before and I denied. Even last we he told me that he wants to take me to this restaurant. As of now, we have not spoken in about 2 days. I just think I need to clear my head and sort this out. I also feel as though I need to have this conversation with an adult but my mom would probably freak out to know that I have a crush on my ex-teacher and he feels the same way, Feel free to be completely honest in the comment section, Thanks in advance!

    anonymousgirl1000
    anonymousgirl1000
    Participant
    January 31, 2018 at 2:37 pm #164045

    Usually, I have no problem with age gap relationships, but the entire dynamic of your relationship is crazy. He strikes me as someone who specifically preys on younger girls. The fact that he is your former teacher should be enough for him to realize that pursuing a relationship with you would be inappropriate. Even for him to talk to you now still means that he was more than likely he was looking at you in an inappropriate way when you were his student. As far as his intentions, he may genuinely like you, he may not. You say that he hasn’t said anything inappropriate to you, which is good, but at the same time, how pure can his intentions be anyway? It’s not too long ago that he was your teacher! In reality, he may not pursue you because he knows the relationship is inappropriate and is trying to create some level of distance. When in reality, any form of communication is wrong.

    anonymousgirl1000
    anonymousgirl1000
    Participant
    January 31, 2018 at 2:44 pm #164046

    When it comes to your parents finding out about this, there is no way they’re going to be accepting. There’s not. First of all, he was your teacher. Second of all, he’s 28. There are very few 19 year olds who have the maturity level to be with someone that old. Most of the time you’re in two different phases of life. He may want to settle down and start a family. You may want to date for a few years and establish your career. At 28, few would be willing to just wait around. 9 years is a doable age gap, but only when the people are over the age of 25. As far as your friends, they tend to be more understanding. They may not agree with it, but they’ll accept it. If anything, he’d get more backlash from his friends.

    Mel4everable
    Mel4everable
    Participant
    February 1, 2018 at 9:34 am #164138

    Thanks so much for responding, I really appreciate it. Your comments have given me a lot to think about. I’ll definitely let you know what happens. What do you think that I should do though?