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Ar2114ParticipantAugust 15, 2014 at 3:15 pm #59478
I started seeing a man who is getting a divorce and also has a daughter that is not to his wife. When I ask him what he wants he says everyone starts out as friends and that he has fun with me. At this point in his life he is taking things day by day. When I ask him if I am wasting my time he said he doesn’t think so. I asked if the dating issue was because of his divorce or is it that I’m just not someone he would be in a relationship with. He said its the divorce, and that I don’t want to be involved with someone until the smoke has cleared and he says he basically is finalized. My question is how do I handle a man who is going through this situation? I think I have made myself clear that I’m interested. I don’t want to be overbearing but I would like more of his time. I believe if you want something you should not let it slip away…
jackPollParticipantAugust 15, 2014 at 10:09 pm #59492
I would say to find someone who also wants to be in a relationship. He seems emotionally unavailable to me, but I am sure there are many points of view here.
Ar2114ParticipantAugust 15, 2014 at 10:21 pm #59494
I’ve brought it to his attention that he’s “unavailable” and his reply was I’m not unavailable in anyway shape or form
futurewendlaParticipantAugust 22, 2014 at 7:11 pm #59878
If you genuinely like him and he isn’t shooting off any major red flags, I say stick it out but keep your options open. He’s obviously got some stuff going on and probably needs some time to sort it out, but that certainly doesn’t mean he doesn’t want you back. If you need more of his time now (and there’s no shame in needing that; everyone needs a different level of commitment) maybe he’s not the right one for you. Find someone who can be more accommodating of your desires.
Me by the bayParticipantAugust 23, 2014 at 11:27 pm #59895
I have dated a man that was in the process of getting a divorce. My advice to you is to forget this undesirable situation and move to someone who is really available to you in all ways. The divorce process can take years and most men with small children are financially responsible to continue supporting and visiting them even after the divorce in shared custody agreements. Don’t know if your guy has adopted this child, but he is probably very attached to the child, which is what you would want from someone who is a responsible parent. In a word these situations are COMPLICATED and often men that are in the process of divorcing have something to prove to themselves and to reprove their virility and masculinity through dating. You can easily be used/hurt in these situations and from your comments, your guy is WARNING you that he is not a good person for you at this time. He sounds like he would be an interesting choice once his divorce is final, not now.
AnonymousAugust 25, 2014 at 5:01 am #59963
Good thing for your secure future,,,,
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