Dating a married but separated man?!

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Dating a married but separated man?!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    October 10, 2018 at 6:19 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    monkeymom82
    monkeymom82
    Participant
    February 20, 2018 at 9:06 am #165960
    Dating a married but separated man?!

    I’ll try to make this short and to the point. I have been dating this man for almost 7 months now and have recently moved in with him. He is still married but has been separated from his wife of 14 years for off and on 3 years but steadily a little over a year now. He has primary custody of his two boys and mine are grown and live on their own. He is retired military and of course there are benefits that come along with that such as the GI bill for school. The reason I bring that up is because that is the reason he says he hasn’t gotten a divorce. He claims that he wants to help her with school to better her life for the boys. Now before you start judging me and saying I should be ok with that because it is for the kids understand she has been doing the online thing for her associates degree which in most cases only takes 18 months to 2 years; well she’s going on three in a few months and I honestly dont think she has any intention on finishing. So is he holding out hope for them or?

    monkeymom82
    monkeymom82
    Participant
    February 20, 2018 at 9:11 am #165962

    Cont’d…… is he really just trying to help?? It is really killing my soul to be with someone who is still married just because I feel he still has the hopes of reconciling or giving her the support of still being his wife. I have only continued this relationship and moving in with him because I know he is a great guy and we could have an awesome future together but I just can’t seem to get past this. I need advice, tips, something!

    zhavia20
    zhavia20
    Participant
    February 21, 2018 at 7:41 am #166077

    Something which you should remember is that he has been married for 14 years which is a very long time. He values her and is clearly wanting to support her and his family. Although this can be frustrating, remember that it is very hard to remove someone who you have been with for that long, just like that. He wants to support them because he’s had a long relationship with them. If he didn’t want to consider moving forward with someone else, he wouldn’t have moved in with you. He wouldn’t have agreed to consider a future with you, if he was still hoping to get back with his wife. Something you can do is share this concern of yours, as this would help you understand more clearly why he is doing what he is. And hopefully he will give you the answer that you are hoping. Be sure to not sound jealous or too hurt when you ask him – make it light hearted but straight forward so that he has to answer the question and can’t try and get around avoiding the question.