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CannokaParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 11:29 am #71799
I have dated twice a very nice guy who is still good friends with this ex-girlfriend. Ok, I have no issues with being friends with an ex, but where do you start looking for red flags?
They go out to lunch or dinner a couple times a week, have went to events together, communicate frequently, etc. etc. He tells me it is just platonic and that SHE still has feelings even though she is seeing someone else. He says she still hints at them getting back together and I do not want to get involved with anyone in that type of situation.
Should I just tell him I am no longer interested in dating him and why?
yak_it2001ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 6:47 pm #71811
I would tell him you are not interested in getting involved because of the situation with his ex.
One way or another if they are hanging out they have some kind of feelings for each other. Whether they act on them or not I think it could be a matter of time if they keep hanging out. If they were just casual friends it would be different, but it seems like they spend a lot of time together and if she is into him then that is a huge red flag. I don’t think you should put up with it.
lookingforsupportParticipantJanuary 31, 2015 at 3:13 pm #72308
Be truthfull with him. If your uncomfortable with his relationship with his ex than he needs to know.
johnearlyParticipantFebruary 1, 2015 at 1:53 pm #72322
You have to tell him you’re uncomfortable with him being “friends” with his ex. Especially if she still likes him.
newbie_melbParticipantFebruary 2, 2015 at 6:42 am #72355
Interesting questions. If you two had been together longer, I’d say you should have that conversation with the guy you’re dating. (I’d want to know why they broke up – if someone cheated, etc – how long ago it was, and if either of them have been in a relationship since.)
However, if this is already an issue after two dates… it’s worth thinking about how much it bothers you between now and your next date. If you would like there to be more dates, it sounds like this ex issue is something you’ll have to address with him eventually. If you know some of his friends well enough to have a casual chat to them about it, then that might be an option. Trust your instinct – do you get the impression from him that he wants to get back together with her, or is it pretty one-sided? Good luck. 🙂
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