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JessCParticipantJuly 21, 2017 at 3:43 pm #142911
I matched with a guy back in March. I never answered his messages because I went on vacation and forgot. In late June he messaged me again. This time I responded in July. We talked for two weeks and we have a date set up.
I usually do a little background check through their Facebook because the last guy I dated turned out to be married. Anyway, he isn’t married. His dating profile pictures are three years old. A picture he sent me after we chatted was a picture of him wearing two sweatshirts at 1 in the afternoon and it’s 100 degrees where we live. I asked him about this and he said he just got out of the gym.
From the moment we started chatting, he compliments me a lot. He says we have a connection. He’s already planning mini road trips for us to take. We haven’t met yet. I expect this kind of attention from someone I’ve been seeing a while, but not from someone I have yet to meet. The other day I didn’t have time to answer texts and he sent me 17 messages. Are these red flags?
luvgoldensParticipantJuly 22, 2017 at 12:53 pm #142937
Yes he sounds a little unbalanced. And slightly desperate. Did you go on the date?
JessCParticipantJuly 22, 2017 at 1:13 pm #142939
I ended up cancelling. He sent me many messages asking “why?”. If it was something he said or did. He wants us to continue talking. I gave him one more explanation and I stopped answering him.
I liked how sweet he was and we connected, but the attention seemed like too much. I wasn’t comfortable.
matt_D_2017ParticipantJuly 22, 2017 at 1:29 pm #142941
Comfort is everything in the relationship, I think you did the right thing
GaryClone76ParticipantJuly 30, 2017 at 4:27 pm #143615
I think canceling the date was the right move. We all get excited when we start feeling a connection online and want to talk to that person all the time, but there is a line. He has to be respectful of your time and understand you aren’t going to be able to text constantly. Granted I’m very insecure when it comes to this, but I won’t text anyone that much if I don’t get a reply. I usually give it a few days, then say something generic, but never start acting like him. Total red flag.
MMX7979ParticipantAugust 3, 2017 at 4:12 am #144119
I would have doen the same – its too fast when people already act this before you even had met.
richiroParticipantAugust 4, 2017 at 11:57 am #144299
yeah that’s a little suspicious when somebody is in a “hurry” and puts the relationship a bit ahead of where the physical is. (i must admit i have an imagination and have tended to do this – not for malicious reasons or unbalanced reasons.. i just have an imagination and that’s how, back then, i’d assess potential dates).. it definitely creeped women out lol. so i now try not to do that anymore and refrain.
Some of this has to do with age/experience too. As you get along in experience and age, you tend to know a lot more what you want and don’t want and it doesn’t take as long to recognize something with potential. However.. that should never be impressed upon the other party if they aren’t to that point yet.
So yes they are red flags – but they could be innocent ones. That’s what dating is about – figuring all that stuff out IN PERSON (nothing is figured out unless it’s so way out of whack it’s obvious). Many things can be mistaken or taken the wrong way when it’s not in person
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