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StonerdonerParticipantJune 20, 2013 at 10:57 am #33774
I met this girl in a college course, before you read this know this girl was VERY shy and it took me a while to get her out of her shell and share things with me but i got through so this is why its surprising to me that shes ignoring me all the sudden..
long story short we have been seeing each other for about 4 months, ive met her family she has met mine, shes stayed the night at my place before and we are very intimate, sexual(no sex), and act as a couple and do everything a couple has done, i’ve never really asked her to be my girlfriend because i don’t see the point now we basically are a couple (which couple be a reason why shes ignoring me but i doubt it).
I have shared with her that i like her and i shared my intentions with her. Anyways we usually text throughout the day and things especially at night and usually hang out during the week, basically we are going awesome i havent made any mistakes yet, maybe flirted with some girls here and there while shes around but its harmless flirting(could be another reason). As of last week she has been very short with me through text, i always have to start the convo and when we talk in person its like talking to a brick wall i have been chasing her like crazy and no response from her.In class she acts as if i dont exist but is VERY friendly with everyone else and seems very happy. So last weekend i asked her to hang out on saturday night and she came up with some lame excuse, (Havent texted since or talked in person) until this week mid week we ALWAYS do something so i went up to her and said hey we still on for today? but she came up with some lame *** excuse once again.
I have asked what was wrong with her and she just tells me shes stressed with school and things so i left her alone and she hasnt tried to communicate with me and neither have i until yesterday and i told her things with us arent the same we are acting very distant and i got no reply, im kind of over it and these games, i have this girl im going on a date with this saturday, but i honestly have strong feelings for the first girl and its impossible for her not to have strong feelings for me she was a very shy girl and im not the most shy im very straight forward, it took me so much to get this girl and shes just doing this to me its not fair at all, what could it be?? Is she developing strong feelings and is scared of rejection? She isnt the type to go date another guy so that isnt even a question, shes also a virgin if that helps… PLEASE give me some advise on what to do with her, for now i think im gonna continue to ignore her and go out with the other girl, i just hope it isnt over because we have a very strong emotional attraction to each other.
TheGirlParticipantJune 21, 2013 at 5:36 pm #33967
Well, I don’t think going out with another girl is going to solve your problems or make matters any better if she finds out you started seeing other women.
It could be she needs her space and maybe she is going through some things. Maybe intense family things…and what she needs is someone who’ll be there for her and encourage her to hang tough.
If she really is going through some problems that could be why she is withdrawn. So I would walk up and tell her firmly but caring “If something is wrong, I’m here for you…”
Now you say that in class and other interactions she seems normal, but giving you the cold shoulder. Well, it could be she did get cold and unsure about where the relationship is going. Maybe since you hadn’t verbally stated that you two are boyfriend/girlfriend she may realize that she needs to explore other options and not get too attached. Afterall, it’s been 4 months and no clear direction.
I mean, let’s be clear if you two haven’t stated that you are boyfriend/girlfriend, then you’re not on the same page. You may “feel” you two are a couple and therefor are in commitment; but without actually stating it, then technically you’re both in a free-for-all. She can stop seeing you like that and start seeing other guys and you can start dating other women and restart a new connection.
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