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justaguy24ParticipantFebruary 19, 2013 at 11:42 am #23018
Really struggling with this, so any advice would be appreciated.
I’ve known this girl for close to 2 years. She is in my close group of friends and there has always been an attraction between us. Back in November I finally made the decision to go for it and we hit it off right away. I live about 1300 miles away from her, but I go back quite a bit for work. We talked every day and then in January we somehow got on the topic of the # of sexual partners we both have had. It was then that I found out that she had a “Friends with Benefits” sort of relationship with one of my closest friends for about a year. I had no idea about their relationship before we started talking. it ended over a year ago, and my best friend is now engaged to be married.
The fact that she wants a serious relationship with me, yet had casual sex with my best friend for over a year bothers me more than it should. We are completely different types of men, but I can’t help but think she is comparing me to him. She tells me she never felt this way about him, but she also tells me that there was a point in their casual relationship in which she thought she loved him.
Should I let it go or do I have reason to worry?
YouGuessedItParticipantFebruary 20, 2013 at 4:47 pm #23253
We’ve all had crushes in the past and get over them because we realize they’re not the one. Not to mention your friend is happy with his new engagement. You are definitely putting the cart before the horse. If you always find a reason to not get close to someone because of your insecurities, I think you’ll find yourself very disappointed in people for nothing.
abbystheoneParticipantFebruary 21, 2013 at 9:57 pm #23474
Here’s the thing…U really like her so none of the other stuff stuff should matter. What are you worried about? From what you said she has already told you how she felt. She loves you. Your friend is about to be married and happy. If everyone is happy then why worry? Unless her past with your friend bothers you and makes you unhappy…in which case you’re the one who needs to re-think if you can handle being with her after knowing all this.
PaulCooper818ParticipantDecember 27, 2014 at 4:54 am #69641
If she is happy in her new relationship right now, let her be.
dsprimalParticipantDecember 29, 2014 at 11:34 pm #69713
Dating your best friends ex is a bad idea in my opinion. 🙁
hottiemoniqueParticipantDecember 30, 2014 at 4:53 am #69718
Let go or get into the consequences. You choose.
chloedermasParticipantDecember 31, 2014 at 10:25 am #69752
So this girl was never in a serious relationship with your friend, I wonder why. I understand that things happen just because but I guess that is something you need to get over with.
Or maybe you can ask the friend of yours if he doesn’t mind you going with the girl. If he is engaged and really over the girl, maybe he won’t care. But once again, this is when you choose whether you don’t care and go for her or value your friendship so you can let it go.
peterhale221ParticipantDecember 31, 2014 at 11:20 am #69761
If she is serious then proceed.
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