Did I seem too desperate?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Did I seem too desperate?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2019 at 8:33 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    confusedRomantic34
    confusedRomantic34
    Participant
    May 5, 2019 at 2:23 am #199877
    Did I seem too desperate?

    Hi Ive gone on 3 dates with this guy and its been great. We don’t text all the time, but Im fine with that because we talk every few days and he seems to be interested in continuing to go on dates with me. Anyway he went home to his hometown (only 1 hour away) to help his family for 2 weeks and just got back. We tried to figure out a time to hang out this weekend and nothing worked, but now Im worried in my attempts to reschedule I came on desperate. I first offered to reschedule for Tuesday, he said he couldn’t do then cause of his mom’s bday, then I said I could maybe do thursday but it would be a little tricky. He said lets just figure out something for the following week, and I think he does want to see me, but I am worried I ruined things by continuing to offer too many days I was available. Does it seem desperate to do this? Or did it just so i was trying to make it work?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 5, 2019 at 5:14 pm #199897

    Unfortunately offering up several alternative dates implies two things.
    You either have (no life) or you’re desperate.

    “If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.” – Anonymous

    You’ve only had (3) dates with this guy and yet you already sound too “emotionally invested”.
    A mistake a lot of women make is behaving as if they are in an “exclusive relationship” when they’re not!
    You should be keeping your options at this point by going out with multiple guys until there is a mutual interest.
    Unless you’ve had “the talk” about becoming an “exclusive couple” don’t assume you’re the only one he’s dating!

    Best wishes!

    Jodast
    Jodast
    Participant
    May 5, 2019 at 6:55 pm #199907

    you didn’t seem too desparate, he just seems kinda intimidated.

    Jay87
    Jay87
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 11:06 am #199941

    Hi Romanti, I would like to help you with your question from a males perspective. When I read your title I already felt I could make my judgement on your situation, and then I read the detail of the situation in your post and I confirmed it. You see, the problem single women face when then want a man in all aspects that wanting a man encompasses in adult life is they forget to remember one fundamental reality that exists in most men. We know within the first 5 seconds whether or not we are physically attracted to you. And that physical attraction is the key driver for all the other actions, emotions, conversations, pursuits, flattery and contradictions that we will throw your way in the short term.

    A mature man, and I mean “mature” in relation to experience in interactions with the opposite sex, be it flitting, dating, relationships, intimacy and love, he understands on a subliminal level whether or not he views your as a serious pursuit. Any girl who has to ask the question…..

    Jay87
    Jay87
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 11:14 am #199942

    “Is he into me? Or do I/did I.. -insert blank-“ has to seriously remember the all encompassing, never un-relying, rule, which is (and I say this sincerely):

    “If a man is into you/wants you/desires you/wants to peruse you beyond desire or immediate satisfaction, you will know it”.

    Stop wasting your time and move on. No man will not chase a woman that he desires. If he is not hounding you for your attention the he does not want you.

    Good luck 🙂

    Jay

    macky65
    macky65
    Participant
    May 6, 2019 at 9:43 pm #199982

    Don’t overthink it. It might’ve been better to just tell him to let you know a day

    almosthopeless
    almosthopeless
    Participant
    May 22, 2019 at 12:27 pm #200904

    In my experience, a guy will always make time if he is really interested. Even if he can’t meet you, he’d keep in touch via text or phone on a regular basis.

    Anomaly6
    Anomaly6
    Participant
    May 22, 2019 at 10:14 pm #200961

    Just give it time, maybe he’s just shy and needs more time to get comfortable with your relationship. Just be patient and if things dont change, it probably means that it wasnt meant to be.. If it’s a real, meaningful relationship it will work out or else there must be someone better out there for you, dont settle for less than you deserve!

    louise
    louise
    Participant
    May 23, 2019 at 9:12 am #200975

    I think he went home for two weeks and found someone else, or saw his old girlfriend.