Did she break it off with me?

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Did she break it off with me?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    September 29, 2018 at 2:12 pm #185758
    Did she break it off with me?

    I’ve been dating a girl for 2 months. great in the beginning. She was doing 100% pursuing and we met up often and had sex, sleepovers and I thought things was going towards relationship. But suddenly after about 2 weeks ago she pulled back. She started flaking a lot. Was very busy and changed plans last minute.

    I have not seen her for 2 1/2 week now. I like her a lot, but she do have a few issues. She goes to therapy etc and came out of a abusive relationship 4-5 months ago.

    She flaked again this weekend and seemed she just have me as a backup or something.

    After all the flaking I said that this dont work for me. I am a busy guy and she cannot keep breaking dates 1 hour before we should meet up. I said I understand that shes busy and cant always see me, but when people disrespect me by not value my time, I will back away and cut people out of my life. I told her to call me next week and we will take it from there.

    She was all sorry and blabla and she is not doin it on purpose

    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    September 29, 2018 at 2:15 pm #185759

    She went out to a birthday party yesterday and was posting sooo much on snapstory of her dancing with other guys etc.

    I did not contact her but she suddenly called me at 3 pm asking if Im mad at her. I said no I am not mad at you. 

    She said Im misunderstanding her intentions, she does like me but she is afraid to jump into relationships right now. shes afraid to fuck it up and dont want to lose me she said. She said that all those snaps was just for fun and shes not fucking around with everyone.

    I told her she can do whatever she wants, I wont push her to do anything and I dont mind taking it slow, but I am not a doormat and I will cut out people who disrespect me.
    She said she respects me for this and that the problem is not me but her (clicheee)

    Her best friend is also dating my best friend and she said shes afraid if things get fucked up with us that she would lose her and she cannot miss her.

    I thought convo was good but now Im thinking she maybe cut me off? What do you think

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    September 29, 2018 at 3:25 pm #185761

    “I’ve been dating a girl for 2 months. great in the beginning. She was doing 100% pursuing…”
    Not many women enjoy doing 100% of the pursuing.

    You said she came out of an abusive relationship just a couple of months before you met her.
    Odds are she’s not ready to turn around jump back into committed relationship.
    Most likely she just wants to spend some time having fun and enjoying her newfound freedom.

    What happens between her and her best friend if you move on is none of your concern.
    If she wants a “friends with benefits” or “booty call” arrangement and that’s cool with you then enjoy it for what it is.
    However whatever you do you will want to (keep your options open) and pursue other women.

    Life is too short to be sitting around waiting in limbo to find out what someone wants.
    If you have to “figure out someone” it usually means they’re not “into you”.
    Best wishes!

    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    September 29, 2018 at 5:13 pm #185762

    Hello and thanks for answering. Yeah I try to keep my options open. Im actually talking to another girl now as well.

    Thing is that in a way I feel bad for her. She was in this mentally abusive relationship and me snd her really hit it off. And I can really see in her eyes that shes a good person. We have lots of same interests and values. Its amazing how much she talks down herself. Shes not talked much about the ex but things ive heard from other people was that he was a bit of a psycho and tried to break her down mentally and was crazy controlling, running down friends houses to look for her etc, but she got away.

    I do also come from kinda bad backgrounds with family alcoholism etc, so reallt I just want people to feel good. I would never try breaking someone down like this. But I still going to make my boundries of what BS I will tolerate.

    Also I was maybe exagurating. She was usually initiating but I was the one setting dates. It was maybe a out 80/20.

    Maybe she needs space

    ActionThought
    ActionThought
    Participant
    September 30, 2018 at 6:17 am #185770

    Sounds like she may be afraid of going into a new relationship after the effects of the last one, don’t force anything let it happen naturally.

    chriswaiting
    chriswaiting
    Participant
    September 30, 2018 at 3:31 pm #185776

    If she has flaked on you more then once then she really doen’s value your time. You sound very patient but don’t let her disrespect you like this. Leave her and find yourself someone that actually keeps her word.

    maka55
    maka55
    Participant
    September 30, 2018 at 10:03 pm #185781

    No i don’t think she cut you off. If anything it sounds like she doesn’t want to lose you or perhaps she likes the attention you give her so definitely you falling back is a good thing. They always come back once they sense that you are starting to move on. I wouldn’t close the door on this girl. You said it yourself that she has some things she is dealing with so if you are really interested in her you will have to be a little patient and show her that you will be there for her.

    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    October 2, 2018 at 5:57 pm #185984

    Hey. Idunno guys. Ive gone no contact with her but shes not reaching out.. only she texted me quick yesterday asked me who some girl wqs who I was friends with on face. But she also asked another friend of mine the same thing.. something about an ex my friend said(cause i didnt ask her)

    I just answered her question a little playfully and left it at that. Other than that its completely quiet..

    Idunno. Kinda bummed how everything ended. Bit of drama and like a storm in a teacup. I think she thinks that im really pissed off cause
    She didnt hung out with me. I was maybe a bit emotional and sounded maybe pissed when I stated what I want/expect when people
    make plans with me.. (about the flaking/cancelling she was doing) but I really do NOT want to stay as friends.. hoe can I when we been having sex for two months.

    docbrown1985
    docbrown1985
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 12:06 am #186231

    You don’t need her, you can do a lot better my friend.

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 5:32 pm #186400
    Reply To: Did she break it off with me?

    listen to yourself on this one. you were right the first time.
    cut it off. she doesn’t respect you and never will.

    time to look elsewhere

    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    October 5, 2018 at 9:13 pm #186407
    Reply To: Did she break it off with me?

    I know this mentally but emotionally its harder.

    I was out out on town drinkin and got a nubmer from another girl but i dont seem to get her out of my head.

    She started reaching out yesterday by sending snaps of herself. Like her body etc and tagged me on facebook etc but idunno. Its not easy..

    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    October 9, 2018 at 2:20 pm #186523
    Reply To: Did she break it off with me?

    Update.
    Its been kinda quiet from her. Some snapchats back and forth only.

    Today is my birthday and I suddenly got a message from her on facebook

    “Hey!! Ive not forgotten about your birthday, well honestly I did but facebook remembered it for me (laughing smiley)
    I just want to wish u happy birthday! Im at a family gathering (this is true) and my mom finally got the whole family here and Im kinda stuck here (this is a bit far away as well). If not I would be at your door with cake to you!! Im sorry I still suck at spending time with you and I hope to see you soon. I hope ypu have a great day.

    Idunno. Im not reading so much into this cause I try to look at peoples action not words.

    I just responded with s funny: what? I was waiting on this cake from you!! Just kiddin, Im doing very well thank you and just call me one day when you feel like hanging out 🙂

    I want to precise Im not sittin on the fence waiting for her. Im trying to date other people.
    Its been 1 month since we hung out

    richiro
    richiro
    Participant
    October 9, 2018 at 8:36 pm #186563
    Reply To: Did she break it off with me?

    easy or hard has nothing to do with it.
    do what’s RIGHT… 24/7! NOT what’s easy or hard.
    otherwise you can only blame yourself. tell me .. why go thru needless pain when you ALREADY know the answer?

    i mean HELLO. she even ADMITTED she had no clue about your birthday and FB had to remind her. come on man! pick yourself up and move on!

    fen91
    fen91
    Participant
    October 13, 2018 at 12:37 pm #186984
    Reply To: Did she break it off with me?

    Hey.. Im starting go realise this 100% now.

    It just hurt me thats all, I though she was super into me and I really could see a future with her, but I was wrong. I will not contact her again.

    Last two days I trying to go into the mindset of: its her loss, im a really good guy with good intentions and
    I deserve people in my life who can see this and like me for me. She dont care about me nor my feelings.
    She takes me for granted and if she comes back she will do the same. I will go find someone better and never take
    back someone stupid enough to leave. She had a ticket to ride, but the train have left

    I sound arrogant, but constantly telling myself this really helps. But still it does hurt that she just threw me away. Blast to the self esteem. But this will go away with time.