Did sleeping over just ruin my chances?


Did sleeping over just ruin my chances?

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    May 29, 2013 at 5:41 pm #32301
    Did sleeping over just ruin my chances?

    The guy in question– let’s call him Matt– is someone whom I’ve liked for almost a year now. I am a sophomore in college (20) and he is just starting grad school (23). We met through working at a coffee shop together last year, and have been good friends since we met. He is a wonderful and respectful man, and I was attracted to him when I first met him. Matt and I used to talk and hang out occasionally right at first. Then, about 5 months ago, he left for a study abroad trip overseas. The emails that he did send me were very heartfelt. When he got back, he got my number from a mutual friend of ours and we spent a long time texting back and forth. He wanted to see me the next day, so I agreed on meeting him at his house at 8pm to hang out. Side note: I still have feelings for him at this point and haven’t dated anyone since we met.
    When I got there, Matt seemed less outgoing than he did in his texts and emails, but I ended up having a beer or two at 10pm and talking with him and his roommate until about 2am. At this point I could have driven home, but thought it was best to ask him if I could stay. He was very generous, as always, and said of course.
    In the morning, I got up early because Matt had to work. I cleaned up my mess and told him I should go. He said “they all just sleep over and leave early” and said he was only joking; this was an odd remark to me though. So I told him I was sorry for drinking his beer and just sleeping on his couch, to which he said “well, you’re one of the more sober people to have done that” followed by “it happens”. I feel awful about intruding on him like that, and felt that he was giving me the cold shoulder in the morning. So here come the questions:

    Is he mad about what I did by just crashing at his house? I now understand that this was inappropriate to do, especially if he does like me.
    How can we have so much better conversations over text/email than in person?
    *** Have I totally blown my chance with this guy?

    If you stuck with me through all of that, thanks. I know it’s a lot to read and take in, but any advice would be extremely helpful.