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hopelessromantic707ParticipantMarch 27, 2019 at 2:58 am #197706
Hey everyone I’m 21 and I’ve been on 5 dates with this girl. I’ve also met her parents. I feel as if I made the mistake of not asking her to be my girlfriend sooner that this could have made her distant. Last time I saw her was last week Wednesday March 21. When I saw her again I asked if everything was okay cause I felt she was distant. She said shes just been super busy. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and told her I’m there for her and understand her situation. We have been talking less and she broke our snapchat streak saying she is doing it to everyone. She also didn’t like my Instagram picture when she usually does. I messaged her again and asked how shes doing. Than I asked if we could go on a date again to a pizza place. She said shes super busy and has to check. I left it at that and said for sure let me know. 4 days later I asked again and she said her family might be coming in for spring break and will let me know. Help! Dont say move on I always move on but still repeat
kingdomglassParticipantMarch 27, 2019 at 3:24 am #197707
Hello! It sounds like you are fweling really anxious over this girl. You’re checking social media constantly, that has to be exhausting. This girl may be telling the whole truth, or she may be unsure about dating. However, whatever the case, you’ve done everything you can, you’ve asked her out and messaged her. It’s her turn to move, and if you panic too much, you may overwhelm her. I know you really want to fix everything, but the truth is relationships are about effort put in by both parties, and if you outdo her too much, it won’t solve anything. You don’t have to move on, but try to relax snd take care of yourself away from her. Being able to be independent is a sign that your relationship will be healthier.
hopelessromantic707ParticipantMarch 27, 2019 at 3:49 am #197709
Thank you so much Kingdomglass, I really appreciate your response. I understand building my inner strength is an amazing and healthy thing to do! I will be honest about my situation and need help. I’ve never had a girlfriend and grew up in a family that never supported me or loved me. So I built an optimistic confident character to have people want to stick around. I’ve met this girl and this is the furthest I’ve gotten with any girl. Her family was supportive and I wanted to be apart of an amazing family. But since I’m an emotional thinker and feel a distance. I’m terrified anxious and depressed. I’ve tried to build a strong confident self but the years of never being cared for leaks right through my independence. I’m scared and falling into depression, I felt happy around her. What can I do to help myself out and not repeat losing someone like the 300 girls I’ve been rejected by. Since I’m emotional what is something I should never do that would help me not make bad decisions
dashingscorpioParticipantApril 1, 2019 at 2:48 pm #198017
“I’m scared and falling into depression, I felt happy around her.”
Not many girls want to stick around a guy who is clingy, needy, desperate, or behaves like an excited puppy.”
Another thing that is causing you anxiety is you’re only focused on one girl.
You are not in an “exclusive relationship” so stop behaving like you are!
You should be pursuing dates with other girls while still trying to determine if this one is “the one”.
When a person has no other options they become emotionally invested too quickly.
” What can I do to help myself out and not repeat losing someone like the 300 girls I’ve been rejected by”
First of all STOP keeping score of your rejections! Your future lies ahead of you and not behind you.
Part of the problem is your age. Young people think (right now) means always.
Make some male friends who have success dating girls and LEARN from them.
Consider posting a profile on a dating site/app
Develop a hobby which puts you in the limelight
dashingscorpioParticipantApril 1, 2019 at 2:59 pm #198019
“Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde
There are two types of rejection. Direct and Indirect.
When a guy asks a girl out and she turns him down that is a direct rejection.
When two are more girls are together and a guy asks one to dance the others were just rejected.
Not being (asked) or (chosen) by someone you like is as much of a rejection as having someone tell you “no”.
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
No one is asking you to decide on whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire.
Relax! Girls are human beings too and they have their own insecurities!
A lot guys in their early 20s start off having a “wing man” someone to hit the nightclubs and happy hours with.
They exchange their “war stories” and oftentimes approach girls who are in pairs as well.
Confidence comes from having experienced success again and again.
However it takes (courage) and (persistence) to endure the learning process.
If you want something different you have to do something different!
- This reply was modified 10 months ago by dashingscorpio.
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