Do I have a chance with this girl?

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Do I have a chance with this girl?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    Doomsy
    Doomsy
    Participant
    March 13, 2018 at 4:55 am #167274
    Do I have a chance with this girl?

    Alright, so here is my story.
    I have this really amazing friend. She’s smart, funny and full of personality. Some people think she’s homely but I personally think she looks gorgeous. We’ve been friends for 2 years. Last year I asked her out but got rejected, saying she didn’t like me. I ended up getting a gf not long after, but it didn’t work out, and I never stopped liking this girl.
    I’m now wondering if there is any way at all I can ask her out again without ruining our friendship, making it awkward, or opening me to teasing from my guy friends. I’m normally very social, but around girls I’m attracted to I get super shy and self doubting. The girl has no boyfriend and as far as I know there is nobody she currently likes. She has never had a a boyfriend.
    The few things that make me hope are the fact that she still likes to do things like talk to me, share our music or hang out, and she was happy to remain friends after rejecting me.
    I desperately need advice. Please reply!

    • This topic was modified 4 months ago by Doomsy Doomsy. Reason: Typos
    ptown18
    ptown18
    Participant
    March 15, 2018 at 1:51 am #167410

    Just ask her out again. If she rejects you again then you’ll know for sure to just remain her friend. But she may have a change of heart now

    jupiterbarefaced
    jupiterbarefaced
    Participant
    March 15, 2018 at 7:40 am #167421

    If you really like and love her, hope for the best and stay positive.

    sinbad2011
    sinbad2011
    Participant
    March 15, 2018 at 8:42 am #167414

    you are confusing friendship for romantic relationship. She is your friend. It does not sound like she likes you more than a friend. You should move on.

    In the future, do not make one girl the star of your movie. You are the star of your movie. It’s your movie. Talk to many girls. FInd the one you click with most and the one that likes you 100%. One thing you might want to avoid is falling in friend-zone. Google that. Basically you want to be a little clear on your intent. Preferably, not by words but by the vibe you give off. Have standards which sounds like you do. :). Also, eye contact. Super important. I know you’re shy around girls you like but practice this all the time. with everyone.

    KCBrown
    KCBrown
    Participant
    March 15, 2018 at 8:42 am #167403

    Try and get closer to her and judge her actions based on that.

    Anonymous
    Anonymous
    March 15, 2018 at 8:20 pm #167462

    I would say you have a big chance since she had never had a bf , knowing that you can be her first, would be excellent!!You should ask her to be your gf in a cute way like a funny card or something creative 😀

    mark888
    mark888
    Participant
    March 16, 2018 at 9:03 am #167478

    If she rejects you again … will it change your friendship??
    I became friends with a girl at a place I go for work. She was always flirty and friendly until I asked her out to lunch and she said… I’m sorry… maybe next time. Now, I have to see her every Tuesday when I go up there but instead of chatting. I use the side door when I leave so I don’t have to go by her office so she doesn’t think I am coming up there to see her.
    It’s too bad because I really enjoyed her friendship. Now, I realize she was just being nice…. because that is her job.

    Good luck.. I played the long “friend” game like that from 6th grade until Senior year and it eventually worked … after all of the older guys she always dated graduated.
    It could work…. consistency … goes a long way with girls if you got the time.

    5footnothing
    5footnothing
    Participant
    March 16, 2018 at 9:21 am #167461

    @sinbad2011 I don’t agree with you. OP was probably not friendzoned but moreso had the intention of being this girl’s friend and his feelings developed later on. The exact same thing happened to me before and we later broke up but are still great friends today although he still likes me.

    @Doomsey I understand your situation perfectly. I would advise you to try and gauge whether she could see you as more than a friend before asking her out again as if she has no interest at all she may get annoyed. However, if you are still great friends after her rejecting you once then the friendship may last even if she said no to you again. My advice would be to broach the subject in a round about way instead of asking her out directly perhaps asking in a light hearted manner if she remembers when you asked her out and see how she reacts. Girls can be very hard to read I will admit but tbh she sounds like a nice girl and it sounds like you have a strong enough friendship no matter what happens 🙂

    Starkey
    Starkey
    Participant
    March 16, 2018 at 8:52 pm #167614

    Has anything changed significantly between you since she rejected you? If not, you should probably move on.

    ms46945
    ms46945
    Participant
    March 18, 2018 at 12:30 pm #167654
    Reply To: Do I have a chance with this girl?

    Ask her again

    drakeyup
    drakeyup
    Participant
    March 19, 2018 at 1:06 am #167670
    Reply To: Do I have a chance with this girl?

    Shooters shoot

    Doomsy
    Doomsy
    Participant
    March 19, 2018 at 8:55 am #167674
    Reply To: Do I have a chance with this girl?

    @5footnothing you basically summed it up exactly. I became friends originally and it wasn’t until maybe 5-6 months later (this was about 2 years ago) that I realised I liked her in a way that felt way different from any other crush previously.
    I’m gonna try and see if I can gauge if she sees me as more than a friend, but its difficult. She kinda sends me mixed messages. Sometimes we hang out, laugh, and talk, and I feel like I have a real chance. Other times she kind of ignores me a little, and seems distant. It doesn’t really help that I’m super shy among girls, whether I like them or not.
    Another small thing, not sure if its relevant. This girl likes physical contact, touching people on the arm, giving her girl friends and even some of her guy friends hugs aplenty. Everyone except me. She even does this stuff to guys I know for sure she doesn’t like. Is she trying to tell me she doesn’t like me? She probably is now that I think about. I guess I should move on, but…

    Doomsy
    Doomsy
    Participant
    March 19, 2018 at 8:55 am #167676
    Reply To: Do I have a chance with this girl?

    Oh, and in case it wasn’t obvious, I’m a teenager.

    lialia
    lialia
    Participant
    March 19, 2018 at 6:59 pm #167856
    Reply To: Do I have a chance with this girl?

    Ask her out 🙂 take a risk

    jlorraine
    jlorraine
    Participant
    March 20, 2018 at 5:46 am #167861
    Reply To: Do I have a chance with this girl?

    I think your best bet would be to maintain an air of confidence in yourself around this girl. Try to tease her if you can and make jokes about what she says. Be flirty and make your interest known, but have a mentality as if she is not all that you are focused on. If you feel good vibes around this girl, then go in fot the kill. If not, then back off. You should always have a plentiful mentality if you are a woman or man. It keeps you from focusing too much on one person and opens up to options. Talk to more people. Put youself out there and experience all the amazing interactions that will come with it.You are you and should never change anything for any reason. An important life lesson to learn is that you should always go where you are celebrated by people, and not where you are tolerated.If you are tolerated, then find someone who sees you for the amazing and complex person that you are.

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