Do I make a move or let it go?

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Do I make a move or let it go?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    ValenGSB
    ValenGSB
    Participant
    February 9, 2019 at 7:58 pm #194548
    Do I make a move or let it go?

    I was dating this girl for about a month and then I think this is where I messed up. I hung out with her at her house to keep her company since she had injured her leg and I stayed for almost an entire night partly because I couldnt tell if she was waiting for me to make a move or not. So before I left, I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend and she said she was comfortable with how things currently were and its moving on too fast. So I said no worries and I agreed. Things continued on normally but I could feel it dying out over text. I tried asking to hang out again soon but she didnt get back to me until a week later, where she texted me she just wanted to be friends. I said no harm done and that I kinda saw it coming, but it left me not knowing exactly why and if I had scared her off by trying to move on too fast. I thought things were fine and I still very much like her. Its been two weeks since then, should I say or clarify something? Theres a bit more context to this also.

    katrindeocampo
    katrindeocampo
    Participant
    February 10, 2019 at 2:21 am #194550

    For me, it is already a sign that she doesn’t want to have a relationship with you more than a friend. So, I guess you should just let it go.

    ValenGSB
    ValenGSB
    Participant
    February 10, 2019 at 4:23 am #194551

    I agree and so as a follow up, I tried to make it casual by joking around with her and she even said before that if it didn’t work out everything would be fine but she’s just completely ignoring me and I’m not sure why. She even said that shes a confrontational person so I would think she would say something. As strictly a friend, supposedly, I kinda wanna ask if everythings ok but idk if I should even bother at this point.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    February 24, 2019 at 10:56 am #195476

    Move on!!!

    “I couldnt tell if she was waiting for me to make a move or not.”
    YOU didn’t “mess up”. SHE was NEVER into YOU!
    You were in the “friend zone” and just didn’t know it.

    ” I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend…”
    “she said she was comfortable with how things currently were and its moving on too fast…”

    The words “moving too fast” generally mean: “I don’t see YOU as being (the one) for ME.”
    There is no such thing as being “exclusive friends” therefore it’s clear she wanted to keep HER options open.
    Truth is if a woman thinks you’re “hot” she’s not going to want to leave you on the “open market” for long.
    More often than not after a month or more of dating if a woman is (into a guy) she’ll want him to define their relationship.

    “I tried asking to {hang out} again soon but she didnt get back to me until a week later, where she texted me {she just wanted to be friends}” She offered you friendship as a “consolation prize” but knowing you want more means she really can’t be friends.

    Denn1s
    Denn1s
    Participant
    February 26, 2019 at 6:02 am #195565

    Let go and move on. Focus on your own life and make it so great you don’t want a relationship. She will get back to you if it’s meant to be. Don’t be her dog and help her in every turn. She may be testing you or wasn’t ever in to you. Peace.

    mrman1983
    mrman1983
    Participant
    February 26, 2019 at 10:19 am #195608

    Best to not bring up ‘being her boyfriend’ either, best to date, have a laugh, don’t pressure the situation and the rest will fall into place 🙂

    DarkChamber
    DarkChamber
    Participant
    February 26, 2019 at 10:20 pm #195720

    I think it wouldn’t hurt to ask out of curiosity. At least to know what you can do better next time.

    Totality
    Totality
    Participant
    February 27, 2019 at 2:48 am #195723

    It seems she was looking for someone to keep her company. Sorry bud. Move on I would say

    MC52
    MC52
    Participant
    February 28, 2019 at 9:38 pm #195846

    Probably move on

    niteowl
    niteowl
    Participant
    March 1, 2019 at 5:00 am #195851
    Reply To: Do I make a move or let it go?

    If she wanted you as more than a friend she would never say “i just wanna be friends.” Also, when they dont text back after 6 hours or longer then shes most likely not interested. When a person likes someone, they will be eager to answer texts. Girls are a pain because they love you one day and barely care about your existence the next. Its exhausting, honestly. One thing i have learned is that being over persistent NEVER works. You cant make someone love you back, either they will or they wont.

    ValenGSB
    ValenGSB
    Participant
    March 5, 2019 at 9:04 am #195979
    Reply To: Do I make a move or let it go?

    Update: At this point, I don’t really care and I’ve moved on, but what do you guys think now:

    After a few weeks, she called/texted me basically catching up and saying “sorry for not getting back, school and work have been busy, parents are going through some things (separated) and I’ve been meaning to meet up with you and I have something to give you”. I said yeah but we haven’t found an available day and its been another week since then. I’m really confused at this point and I cant tell if shes just feeling sorry for me or if she really was/is too busy. But like I said, I don’t really care at this point.

    Zackman72
    Zackman72
    Participant
    March 5, 2019 at 10:06 am #195998
    Reply To: Do I make a move or let it go?

    She is not interested in a relationship. Time to move on. Sorry to be blunt, but she could not have said it any clearer herself. If you really like this woman, and still want to, perhaps remain friends. But keep a healthy distance. She obviously saw something in you at some point and women do change their minds about who it is they find attractive.

    SignMeUpJacob
    SignMeUpJacob
    Participant
    March 8, 2019 at 2:46 pm #196255
    Reply To: Do I make a move or let it go?

    i dont know

    dreamGirlCA
    dreamGirlCA
    Participant
    March 9, 2019 at 9:05 am #196287
    Reply To: Do I make a move or let it go?

    Move on… she cleared it out that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you.

    March 10, 2019 at 5:18 am #196293
    Reply To: Do I make a move or let it go?

    Sorry bro but she’s not worth fussing over

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