Do I need to break up with my boyfriend?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Do I need to break up with my boyfriend?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2019 at 8:29 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    AFF.com Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    Ajquestions
    Ajquestions
    Participant
    April 18, 2019 at 4:59 pm #198810
    Do I need to break up with my boyfriend?

    So I convinced my boyfriend, who’s four years older than me, to make an instagram because he’s so into art. I suggested lots of art pages that he does follow now, but did notice that he follows literally hundreds of instagram models and likes and saves a lot of their pictures. Our 2 years old was playing around with his tablet recently, and upon taking it from her, my eyes caught the words “she makes my heartbeat fast whenever she messages me” and of course, due to issues at the beginning of our relationship, I couldn’t help but continue reading. The name was never mentioned but it was evident that he wasn’t taking about me, but he was mentioning that he loves the person. Shamefully so, I wound up reading the entire conversation, later noticing that he was talking to another woman. He was constantly bashing me to her, not once said anything good about me and told her a lot of my personal business. Things that should’ve stayed between the two of us.

    Ajquestions
    Ajquestions
    Participant
    April 18, 2019 at 5:01 pm #198812

    He also told her that he didn’t believe that I actually miscarried our first child. He though I was lying. Mind you this happened 5 years ago. He watched me suffer day in and day out after I lost my baby. He also told her about his ex writing him on Facebook saying that she wanted to “serve him p*ssy for breakfast”. I confronted him about all of this and he claims that he was lying about the ex writing him because he “just wanted a crazy story to tell”. The most pressing thing though, was that i put two and two together and assumed he was talking about another one of his exes when he was sayisaying that he loved someone. It took some time, and I finally got the guts to ask him if he still loves his ex, who I knew by name. He admitted that he does, and my heart has been in pieces ever since. He was with her over 7 years ago and have been with other women since her and before me.

    Mach10
    Mach10
    Participant
    April 19, 2019 at 7:52 am #198821

    I read it all. If I were you I would take some time of and take a decision. It’s clear that your relationship is not healthy for you.
    He is acusing you of some serious shit.

    PS: I would break up, but make sure that this decision is yours and yours only

    Ajquestions
    Ajquestions
    Participant
    April 19, 2019 at 8:19 am #198813

    And if that’s not bad enough, as good of a guy as he is, he tends to have a really sucky attitude when it comes to me. I’ve told him could less times that I don’t like the way he talks to me a lot of the time, but it just continues. He apologizes but does the same things over again’t and it almost makes me feel like he’s manipulating me. I don’t doubt that he loves me, but somehow I can’t shake the feeling that he probably treats me this way because he’d rather be with his ex, that after all this time, he still can’t seem to get over. He even told the female that he was talking to that I’m lucky that he’s not like other guys because he would’ve “tossed me to the side by now”.

    Ajquestions
    Ajquestions
    Participant
    April 19, 2019 at 8:19 am #198814

     I’ve stayed quiet on things for so long but now that I’m no longer willing to do that, and that I’m standing up for myself, he badmouths me to so many people behind my back. But I’ve stuck with him through everything that he’s put me through. Yes, I know, I’M the idiot for that. I don’t get it. I’m so good to him and I’ve only ever been respectful and good to him. I cook for him, clean for him, motivate him and support him, even when I disagree. Aside from financially, I practically have been caring for our child on my own since the beginning. All things that he doesn’t do for me.

    Ajquestions
    Ajquestions
    Participant
    April 19, 2019 at 8:19 am #198815

     Sometimes I feel like I’ve fallen so far down the rabbit hole that I can’t escape him, but I love him so much that it hurts. I don’t know what to do and I’ve lost hope that things will improve. I want to leave him but I don’t want to leave him. Probably because he’s my first real relationship and we have a kid together. He even tells me that he wants another baby with me. How can I detach my heart from this and leave him? I know that I deserve much better than what he’s been giving me, and no matter how much I bring it up, we always end up back to square one.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    April 19, 2019 at 2:06 pm #198907

    “I don’t doubt that he loves me…”
    “He even told the female that he was talking to that I’m {lucky} that he’s not like other guys because he would’ve “tossed me to the side by now”. “..he badmouths me to so many people behind my back…” Most people would not describe that as being “loved”.
    “I’ve lost hope that things will improve..”
    “I want to leave him but I don’t want to leave him.”
    “I know that I deserve much better than what he’s been giving me..”

    {Suffering is optional.}

    If you truly believed (you deserved better) you would move on.
    People who claim they’re settling really mean whatever they have now is (their best option).
    If you really thought (you could do better) you WOULD do better!
    No one is “stuck” with anyone! Go to court and setup child support payments.
    Staying in an unhappy toxic relationship is not doing (your child) any favors!
    Imagine your daughter being with a man like this. She’ll learn what’s acceptable from YOU!

    “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.” – Oscar Wilde

    katehbaratheon
    katehbaratheon
    Participant
    April 19, 2019 at 3:27 pm #198923

    Hello, I would like convey my apologies for the current situation that you find yourself in, it is clear that your current relationship is undergoing an incredibly toxic phase, and has now gradually become to greater a problem to ignore. your boyfriend is treating you badly, but please remember that this ‘love’ for him you speak of, isn’t that you LOVE him specifically, your brain loves the feeling he gives you. Your emotions are attached to him because he is acting challenging and creating chaos and turmoil in the relationship which is engaging your emotions, as the anxiety that this is causing you is inadvertently causing to fall deeper into his spell. The only possible way you can end this destructive phase of your relationship is to walk away from him. i can understand this is difficult, but if you are to do this, he will regain respect for you, attraction for you, and his fear of loss will be amplified. Walking away from him is for the good of your child also.

    El8482
    El8482
    Participant
    April 25, 2019 at 4:50 pm #199233

    It depends on your feelings… I did break up with my BF when saw his chatting with another woman… sorry and hope you find the answer yourself