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AnonymousNovember 26, 2012 at 11:49 am #17202
What do you think the common thread is between all your experiences? Picking that “bad boy”, emotionally unavailable kind of guy again? Picking the “scared of commitment” kind of guy? How about that guy that has little to no impulse control in his life….where he finds a way to get everything it is that he wants.
carlycatzParticipantNovember 30, 2012 at 11:52 am #17782
I think it’s a matter of attraction with whatever catches your eye first.
Like if he has one negative (gets a bit aggressive with his buddies when he drinks) but you overlook it because he donates to a charity and helps his grandma out a lot -lol- then you find a way to accept who he is and you take the pros with the cons! 🙂
AnonymousNovember 30, 2012 at 12:37 pm #17801
You bring up such an incredible point! I watch so many people look away from the not so pretty qualities because there are some other great qualities. We all have that shadow side but sometimes, those negative limitations are really damaging! Like people who are verbally or physically abusive or those guys who treat women with less than respect and honor….we can’t ignore those….we have to set a standard for ourselves and how we are treated in the best AND the worst moments.
I have found this is how people get cheated on….they lower their standards….in essence, SOME of their needs are getting met, so they settle and “put up with”. It’s a bummer because each and every one of us has the ability to create and have EVERYTHING our heart desires….we just have to be willing to be patient and fight for it….
carlycatzParticipantNovember 30, 2012 at 3:09 pm #17839
Yep! We can’t expect everyone to be perfect. Some flaws can be accepted and I, for example, try to not be extremely picky and choose to give a guy the benefit of the doubt bc I think my personality (etc.) meshes well with him.
I’ve seen where girls (myself included) give a guy TOO much benefit of the doubt and end up stuck with a loser who takes advantage of the girl…There’s a point where you have to be comfortable saying they’re “with” you and not ignore extremely large red flags.
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