Does anyone have problems finding someone?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Does anyone have problems finding someone?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    anonymousgirl1000
    anonymousgirl1000
    Participant
    May 21, 2018 at 1:18 am #174669
    Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    I just don’t know what the issue is. I have the hardest time getting a date. I’ve never been in a relationship and I’ve had few people show interest in me. It’s just so difficult seeing my friends get in and out of relationships when I haven’t had not one. I don’t consider myself unattractive and I smile when spoken to. Everyone that I’ve tried to pursue has rejected me. Every. Single. One . Of. Then. When I do attract someone, it’s usually someone who doesn’t have a job or is just trying to use me as a break from their girlfriend.
    I convince myself that it’s not me, it’s them. This has happened so many times that I’m beginning to think it’s me. It has to be. Maybe my standards are too high? Maybe I’m not showing enough interest? I do the same thing other women do, except they get into relationships and I don’t.

    brick-49
    brick-49
    Participant
    May 21, 2018 at 1:25 pm #174789

    I feel your pain 🙁

    pakster123
    pakster123
    Participant
    May 21, 2018 at 7:22 pm #174830

    Are you actively looking for a relationship? Because if you are, it won’t work. You need to be able to push and pull. For example, do not respond to texts immediately. I’ve been there. Seriously, my current is my first real one. He didn’t like me or claimed he didn’t like me. I pursued him, but also made it known that I would be fine without him, too. For example, if he wasn’t responding, I’d post stories of myself having fun or I don’t ever say I love you or say anything to give him that satisfaction unless he showed sh** too. He actually confessed, once I told him that I was done with his games.

    You need to keep those standards and make them known without being too overbearing or else guys will step over you. You start lowering them when you’ve been single for a long time. Maybe you should lower them a bit, but the basics should be kept like the guy should focus on you, shouldn’t disrespect you in any way or be late or cancel all the time. Watch Matthew Hussey on youtube!

    Castiar
    Castiar
    Participant
    May 21, 2018 at 9:08 pm #174834

    I do at times…. it sucks

    Coach_Michael21
    Coach_Michael21
    Participant
    May 22, 2018 at 6:49 am #174848

    How are you going about trying to get dates? Are you focusing only on going out and meeting guys? Are you trying online dating? If not, have you considered giving it a try?

    darenmartin
    darenmartin
    Participant
    May 22, 2018 at 7:37 am #174849

    Hi dude! I can understand your problem. Don’t feel bad if you are unable to find your partner. I think you should try out online dating, may be that apps will help you in finding your partner. You can try this option because nowadays online dating apps are very handy to meet your desired partner.

    divya
    divya
    Participant
    May 22, 2018 at 12:04 pm #174893

    Yeah I was in this situations once but it get solved with time when you intract with people.

    handyron007
    handyron007
    Participant
    May 22, 2018 at 2:32 pm #174911

    But there is always someone for everyone like they say. Maybe we are having the same issue. I have been going through the same issue for almost 8years. I never have the luck to find a real woman whom really wanna settle down. Sometimes they just took it for the fun of seeing someone. Well, I would love to find someone who really wants love and is ready to love back. May I know what exactly do you want in a man and what really do you seek out of a relationship? If you really wish to, maybe we give it a try. How about that?

    singlemom18
    singlemom18
    Participant
    May 23, 2018 at 2:30 pm #175050

    Online dating is a process I hear. I have been online for about 5 months and it is exhausting. I have had a few dates but guys who like me i don’t like them and the one guy I thought I was starting to fall for pulled away. But with each new person you see you learn a little bit more about what you want/ don’t want and also how to do better in relationships in the future.

    It is exhausting though !

    Keep your spirits high, invest in yourself and things will happen for you.

    ncpeter12
    ncpeter12
    Participant
    May 24, 2018 at 6:43 am #175116
    Reply To: Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    You’ll find someone when you least expect to. Keep living life

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 16, 2018 at 5:56 pm #177226
    Reply To: Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    “I have the hardest time getting a date.”
    “I’ve never been in a relationship.”
    “I’ve had few people show interest in me.” and “Maybe my standards are too high?” are contradictory statements.
    Either no people are asking you out or you’re rejecting people left and right.

    “When I do attract someone, it’s usually someone who doesn’t have a job or is just trying to use me as a break from their girlfriend.”

    You need to make up your mind if your goal is to {get a date} or {have a relationship}? They are two different things.
    Based upon what you said right now you should just focus on getting a date.
    Going out on dates usually comes (before a relationship) is established. You could just go out for the purpose of having fun.
    Lastly you didn’t mention where you go to meet new people bars/lounges, online dating sites/apps, beaches, parks, networking groups?
    If you want something different (you) have to do something different.

    greenbook
    greenbook
    Participant
    June 17, 2018 at 12:42 pm #177250
    Reply To: Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    I feel online dating has caused numerous issues, and one of them is that it has made daters far too picky. You can just too quickly dismiss a guy or a woman. It’s even worse when it comes to women because when it comes to a site like match, many areas have 3 women for every man who is on the site. I read an article the other day that 80% of women on one major online site set their search parameters to cut out all men who are 5-10 or shorter. Occasionally I will check out male profiles (it always helps to check out the competition), and too many are asking for women who are skinny or athletic when I know dang well that most pornographic network sites on the web feature at least 3 or 4 sites devoted to curvy women. One of the most successful female Asian porn stars ever, Mike Tan, made major money in the business from a size 4 to a size 15 (she once shot soon after a miscarriage). I know that guys are not that narrow in what they find attractive, but online dating has done a number.

    greenbook
    greenbook
    Participant
    June 17, 2018 at 12:50 pm #177251
    Reply To: Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    If it is an consolation, I did online dating for 6 years as a man in my mid-30’s, admittedly in an area with way more single men. I probably spent $1000 on professional photos to make me look my best, as well as professional profile writers (I love writing, but cannot keep things succinct), and in 6 years, I think I had maybe 7 women wink at me or send me an email. Although I will admit to being 5-6, I am a reasonably attractive man, fit, have a full time job, have a very strong verbal wit, etc., women just didn’t respond to my profile, they didn’t even look at it. I thought the photos and profile ALONE would draw attention. Granted, I had two disadvantages beyond my height. Three years into my online dating I made a firm decision that I didn’t want kids. Secondly, I was extremely shy about initiating contact with women. Again, I thought that I had spent so much money on my photos and profile that the emails would just come in. Nope. I always indicated I was into a long term relationship.

    • This reply was modified 1 month ago by greenbook greenbook.
    • This reply was modified 1 month ago by greenbook greenbook.
    IloveCats
    IloveCats
    Participant
    July 1, 2018 at 1:21 am #178520
    Reply To: Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    Yes I ha e problems finding someone.

    IloveCats
    IloveCats
    Participant
    July 1, 2018 at 2:19 am #178522
    Reply To: Does anyone have problems finding someone?

    Online dating is dangerus.

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