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samhbrum11ParticipantNovember 7, 2016 at 4:22 pm #116652
So, here’s a little backstory. I met this guy on Okcupid a couple of weeks ago and he messaged me first on the app and we started talking and eventually I asked him for his phone number to text. Most of the time I would text him first and I planned out our first date which was yesterday 11/6/16.
He didn’t text me that morning to make sure the date was still on but two days before the date he asked when and where we were meeting and said he’d be there. The date went well I think. Afterwards he gave me a long hug (longer than the hug in the beginning of the date), said it was good to see me, that he had a good time and that “we’ll talk”. About 20 minutes after he left he texted me saying “Hey sorry I ran off (he had to leave because his aunt and uncle were picking him up) I had a great time!” I responded he said to please hit him if he ever makes another bad joke (he was making jokes during the date that i found very funny.
Does this mean he wants to go out with me again?
samhbrum11ParticipantNovember 8, 2016 at 8:37 am #116653
This is the original poster, I have some more information for all you commenters.
This guy just moved to America from Isreal 2 months ago to become an actor. I’m not totally sure if he is looking for a relationship or just a new friend to show him around the city because he is new to it. On his OkCupid profile it says hes looking for short term dating, casual sex and new friends. Im sure he read my profile that said I am not looking for casual sex but i am up for anything else. He didn’t try to make any sexual moves towards me or even brought up the subject when we were texting. I just am not sure he is looking for a relationship when that’s what i’m looking for. I’m afraid to even ask him.
How long should I wait for him to text me or should i text him first to plan the next date or should i let him plan it? I’m just not sure what to do because it seemed like he had a nice time with me and i really like him.
PenelopeBParticipantNovember 8, 2016 at 3:03 pm #116755
I think he does! I may overthink this, but having been on way too many OKC and other online brought offline dates, if I don’t want to see anyone again, I am usually very careful about alluding to a “next time”. If he apologized for running off and said to please hit him if he ever makes another bad joke, then that means that he cares about making a good impression, he’s comfortable enough to joke around with you, and he’s expecting to give you the opportunity to hit him upon another onslaught of bad jokes again in the not-too-distant future. I’d say a general rule of online dating etiquette is that if there is a text right after the date ends, then a second date is desired. Especially if that text includes a “Thanks, I had fun. See you soon/we’ll talk”.
PenelopeBParticipantNovember 8, 2016 at 3:08 pm #116756
In terms of the relationship vs. hook-up thing, online dating makes it fairly easy for guys to find someone to hook-up with them just due to the number of possibilities. With that said, the first date might be to feel the situation out and make sure that the person they might hook-up with is not going to turn out to be crazy (wider dating pool = more crazies). I’d be more careful with this one, but I’d say use the 2nd date to straight up ask him what he is looking for in a relationship. Honesty from the start is always the best policy and gives you both a chance to decide whether it’s going to work or not straight out without wasting time, energy, and emotion. With that said, it’s usually a turn-on when the other person shows that he or she is also making an effort so if he planned the first date, you planning the second date will be a chance to show him that you’re interested, confident, and willing to pull your own weight, all of which are pretty sexy qualities to most people. 😉
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