Does my FWB like me? Or does he just see me as a casual thing?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Does my FWB like me? Or does he just see me as a casual thing?

    Author
    Comments
  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    August 8, 2019 at 10:55 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey DatingAdvice.com forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal
    Match.com Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    EliteSingles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access
    Adult Friend Finder Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    overratedfeelings
    overratedfeelings
    Participant
    July 27, 2019 at 8:43 pm #204420
    Does my FWB like me? Or does he just see me as a casual thing?

    I met this guy, Alex, on a dating website and we decided to hook up. First time we met, he couldn’t get hard, so we stopped. He told me he’ll come over tomorrow and retry. However, the next day I found out that he unmatched with me and unfollowed me on social media. However, I felt misunderstood, so I sent him a message saying basically, I wasn’t mad at him for not being able to get hard and that there would be no hard feelings, like a final goodbye. I didn’t expect a reply, but he replied with a thanks. I thought that would close up this chapter, but no. He messaged me back a few days later saying he “wasn’t in the right mentality” and that he would try again, if I wanted to do it again with him. I accepted because I was curious. (1/3)

    overratedfeelings
    overratedfeelings
    Participant
    July 27, 2019 at 8:45 pm #204421

    The 2nd time we met up, he was fully functional, and he refollowed me after. We met up a few times after that, but the problem was that he could not stay hard. However, he got hard from handjobs/blowjobs, but as soon as he enters me, it just deflates. Every time we meet, it always happens.
    However, during those time, we started talking about anything. I started to catch feelings for him. Whenever we’re in bed, he would always cuddle me, joke and tease me. It’s the small things that makes me like him. He started asking me about my love life before, like how many boys I’ve slept with and how long I’ve been on the site. I told him that ever since I started talking to him, I haven’t talked to anyone else. He kept saying how mad he was that he couldn’t get hard, but he got hard at home or whenever when it wasn’t necessary. (2/3)

    overratedfeelings
    overratedfeelings
    Participant
    July 29, 2019 at 8:24 am #204422

    He told me to give him a week so he could try and fix it and once he does he’s going to fuck me so hard, and I was like okay sure, I’ll wait. Before, the few times he went over he left immediately, but these later meetups he’s been staying longer and later. Like for example last time I thought he was gonna leave after he changed his clothes, but he just laid on my lap afterwards. It wasn’t until someone called and I had to go before he actually left.
    The only problem I have with him is that he keeps liking pictures of racy pictures of girls on social media and that bothers me. Like I know this is just a causal thing, but if he actually liked me, he wouldn’t like the pictures right? Or is a that a common thing for guys? (3/3)

    chrishen
    chrishen
    Participant
    July 31, 2019 at 1:37 pm #204646

    Liking racy pictures of girls, and not being able to get it up. Sounds like this guy likes his “private reflection periods” a little too much.

    What you described there is information you can use to create boundaries for yourself.
    1) Don’t date guys who can’t perform
    2) Don’t date guys who like and follow hot girls on Insta

    Having said that, this is is a hookup situation and you have no right to really comment on what he should or shouldn’t be doing in his free time unfortunately. The extra affection, I wouldn’t look too much into. People get affection addiction because of the oxytocin it produces in the brain, which is an addictive drug. It feels good go cuddle up and feel that, but it can often be misinterpreted as “They must really like me.”

    A good way to know if a guy REALLY likes you is you is to gauge his investment. How much is he willing to do in order to see you? Will he meet you one on one for dinner for example. Start looking for that, and you’ll know how he views you.