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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!June 2, 2016 at 9:46 pm #102059
Hi so I am completely new to internet forums in general so I am interested in what will come out of this Hopefully I don’t rant at all 🙂 Basically I’m 24, in college, and I’ve been really into this girl for almost a year. During that time we have done a lot of stuff together, most of it just the two of us. And this includes fairly romantic activities like going out ice skating and grabbing dinner. Hiking on the beach. Getting drinks and watching a movie. Going to music festivals and shows. Clearly we have a lot in common and generally enjoy each others company. The thing is I feel like I should have asked her out like last December but never did. I really like her and we are still hanging out pretty often, but the context of our relationship is blurry and that definitely can make things awkward at times. We’ve been doing this for almost a year and have both been single that entire time. I really don’t want to make things weird and loose her as a friendJune 2, 2016 at 9:53 pm #102060
Basically I need help in how to move forward. I feel like if we were in a relationship we would be open to do more stuff and there would not be that lingering question of whether or not we were together. Like neither of us really feel comfortable inviting the other to do stuff around each others friends because there is that assumption. And if we both love doing stuff together then it seems stupid to let that hold us back. Everyone I’ve talked to seems to think that I should ask her out but I haven’t the slightest clue on how to approach a situation like this. One that has been going on for this long. Either way I feel like I’m being oblivious to the obvious answer, but the stress of not knowing is killing me.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by Tinqle.
DesmonndParticipantJune 3, 2016 at 10:32 am #102084
Is one of the things you enjoy doing together sex? If not, tell her that you will not vote for Hillary because she put you in the friend zone.June 3, 2016 at 3:44 pm #102101
But seriously, no our relationship isn’t sexual which obviously means at this point she is thinking of me as just a friend. Its just that I feel like there is still something there between us and if I don’t find a way to tell her how I feel then I am just gonna sink farther and farther down into that zone.
igotyouParticipantJune 4, 2016 at 4:43 am #102137
If you want to move forward with the relationship, ask her out. I feel like you already spent too much time with her as friends.
AnonymousJune 4, 2016 at 11:43 pm #102176
I say go for it. Here’s the thing….if you don’t, you will always end up wondering “what if” and that is more torturous than anything else. You are looking for a sure thing here and that’s just not reality. After a year of hanging out and nothing has happened??? You are definitely in the friend zone. That however, does not mean she doesn’t or hasn’t had thoughts about you beyond a friendship. But that can change anytime you want. You have that power. A lot of women are really attracted to a man that has the courage to ask for what they want. Tell her how you feel and the perfect way to do that is just being you….the guy she has gotten to know over the past year. It may end up being an awkward moment…so what! It’s just a moment and it will pass. I would probably expect that she will not know what to do or say because you are changing the entire dynamic of how you guys are together. But that’s okay! The point here is…it’s going to change at some point anyways.
AnonymousJune 4, 2016 at 11:50 pm #102177
You or her will date someone else and get into a relationship at some point and your friendship will change. So change is inevitable. Either you go towards creating that change yourself and have the strength to be okay if she rejects you and you just go back to being friends….or keep torturing yourself by wondering what “could be.” This is more about you than her. You say the stress of “not knowing” is killing you…then go find out! This is more about you than her. Find out if one way or the other and then you can move on with your life. If she says she is not interested, then you finally know and can let the idea of you and her together go….then you can find someone who would love to be with you. If she says yes…then awesome! I will tell you that it can be a bit awkward at first though. My first love was with a guy who I was best friends with for about a year. I knew he liked me the entire time but I just didn’t feel the same way. Then one day it just changed for me
AnonymousJune 4, 2016 at 11:55 pm #102179
Our first kisses, holding hands and what not…well, it was strange and uncomfortable for a bit, but then we found our rythm and fell in love. That’s just life! The problem here is you…you are letting fear control you. Your fear of being rejected and losing the friendship is stopping you from just living your life and knowing you are strong to handle whatever happens. Because reality is….you are going to lose her at some point anyways, probably to another guy. So live it up!!! Don’t take it so seriously…..we all get rejected, gain and lose frienships all the time, fall in and out of love…it’s part of growing and finding out what you are made of. Good luck!!!
Confused_oneParticipantJune 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm #102396
This is similar to my situation, except the amount of time that we’ve know each other. For me it’s been just about a month, and in that time we’ve done lot’s of “date like” activities. It’s been very confusing for me, and it’s starting to really get to me, the unknown. I plan to ask her out on a date the next time I see her. emphasizing “date”. We’ve gone to music festivals, concerts, out to eat together, getting drinks, hanging at each others houses, just the two of us, but it’s always been “hanging out”.
I can’t live with the what ifs so I’m going to take the chance of rejection. I think it’s the best choice. Right now it’s eating me up. I can only imagine how bad it would be after almost a year.
Good luck to you.
detroittomiamiParticipantJune 8, 2016 at 12:47 am #102432
Just go ahead and ask! There’s nothing to lose.
monicat8ParticipantJune 8, 2016 at 2:18 am #102441
You have to stop torturing yourself…not knowing. Take the next step and find out.
mitchesbcrayParticipantJune 10, 2016 at 1:54 pm #103148
I know it sucks, but she may be just as confused about your relationship as you are. I’d say to hang out in a casual setting and talk to her. Say basically what you said on here – you like hanging out with her, you’d like to do more (I assume?), but you’re not sure if she feels the same or if you missed your window. She’ll appreciate you being brave enough to be upfront with her.
lilyvalleyParticipantJune 12, 2016 at 11:13 pm #103243
HEre is how you should break it down, just tell her you’ve been enjoying getting to know her and really enjoy her company and think it’s worth giving dating eachother a shot and see what she says. That’s all you need to say and do this during one of your hangouts pretty casual. Best of luck!
sophiaParticipantJune 13, 2016 at 7:13 am #103234
JUST DO IT! you can plan it and rehearse what your going to say in advance orrrr my fave just randomly say I don’t wanna be friends anymore..she’ll be like whaaat and then say it again I don’t wanna be friends anymore, naturally she’ll respond with a why? what happened and thats when you seque into because i really like you and I can’t stand just being friends with you I want more and if you give it a shot with me I promise to never fart in bed and buy you flowers every valentine’s. basically because you are in the friend zone right now you have to help her picture you in a romantic way but don’t eliminate the fact that the friendship is great too..thats why a good friendly joke coupled with a romantic gesture will help her eyes in transitioning you from friend to boyfriend. bottom line is dooooo it do something and quick others guys may be ready to pounce and you may lose your chance, she prob wants a bf if she’s been single for a while now. chew gum if your nervous helps a lot!
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