Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

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Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 6, 2019 at 11:55 am #194255
    Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    So I’ve recently met this guy during a seminar that is like 7 times per semester. I’ve seen him 3 times by now, which also means 3 times in my entire life. A few days after the third seminar he texted me. And we started texting a lot, he gave me compliments and I gave him some, too. This went on for about a week and during that week I was on a school trip for 4 days, so I had a lot to tell him and he was very interested and wanted to hear everything. We sent each other a lot of audios. And then, the day I came back from the trip, he asked if we should have a phone call. So we talked on the phone at 9 pm for 90 minutes. And it was amazing! The next day, he immediately texted me good morning and we kept texting.

    But then, starting on a (on his side busy) Friday, he texted me less. Now, I can’t see when he was last online but until now he has never left my messaged on read. So I suppose that he isn’t online that often anymore. He is a very busy guy.

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 6, 2019 at 12:04 pm #194256

    But we don’t text as much anymore as when this all started (two weeks ago with him texting me first).

    From the day he started texting me less, I started developing feelings for him and couldn’t stop thinking about him and wondering, if he liked me.
    It was also then, that I started realizing that he was flirting with me from the beginning. I know, pretty late.. The problem is: He is this generally nice, kind, open, socializing and interested guy. So when he first texted me, I tought, he was just being nice and assumed that he does this to a lot of others, too.

    I’m also wondering if he started being online less because he has a stretegy. Cuz if that’s the case, he was definitely successful.. I’m beating myself up these days because I won’t stop thinking about him while he is taking up to 24 Hours to answer one message / to come online! Again, he is a busy guy and he also mentioned that he was sick.

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 6, 2019 at 3:07 pm #194257

    My feelings weren’t as strong at the beginning when we texted more frequently. I liked him and smiled when we were texting and stuff but I didn’t have to constantly think about him. And also, as I already mentioned: I didn’t immediately realize he was flirting. IF he was flirting, this kind, optimistic and socializing guy…

    I just don’t know what to do because I can’t stop thinking about him now and he takes so long to text back. Maybe he lost some interest? I mean, if he liked me, he would come online more often, wouldn’t he?

    Some Information I should mention: We live pretty far from each other and the next seminar is in two months…

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    February 7, 2019 at 9:02 am #194363

    Hello Krystalviolin

    I read your entire post and can understand how powerful and confusing these feelings and thoughts can be. Especially when you can’t stop them.

    However I need some additional background information to provide you the appropriate feedback to assist you. Kindly answer the following and I will be happy to assist you.

    1. What is your age?

    2. What is your previous dating history?

    3. When you say you can’t stop thinking about him what are you thinking and feeling?

     

    I look forward to reading your reply and giving you my feedback.

    Best Wishes,

    GJ

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 7, 2019 at 11:01 am #194386

    Hello,
    Thanks for answering.

    1. I’m 17. He’s 18.

    2. I had my last “boyfriend” when I was 12… He was my first love, the break up was kind of traumatic at the time and after that until now I focused on getting good grades and playing music. I did have a few crushes but never acted.

    3. When I think about him, I feel excitement because I really want a boyfriend right now. I feel warmth because he is so nice and positive which makes me feel happy. I also think of his pretty eyes. And I feel confusion. In the beginning I felt like I could have a shot with this guy but now I’m not so sure anymore..

    I look forward to your answer 🙂

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    February 7, 2019 at 9:30 pm #194450

    Hello Krystalviolin

    Thank you for the background information. It is very helpful to assist me to find the best way to help you better make sense of what you are experiencing. Every relationship, with its good and bad, has an impact on how we see and experience ourselves and others. A preteen at the age of 12 falling in love is a very exciting and confusing time of life. To help you with the present situation we need to understand a little more of your past. So kindly explore the following with me:
    1. How long were you in the relationship with your boyfriend when you were 12? From what age to what age?
    2. What was traumatic about the break up?
    3. What are you feeling and thinking as to why you really want a boyfriend now?
    4. When you say that you can’t stop thinking about this young man what other important things in your life are you avoiding by constantly thinking about him?

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    February 7, 2019 at 9:31 pm #194451

    Hang in there. Consider this a temporary ” Ritardando” so you can “Accelerando” feeling good about yourself. I look foward to your reply and continuing our journey together.
    Best Wishes
    GJ

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 8, 2019 at 6:07 am #194461

    Hi GJ

    1) First of all, it wasn’t a real relationship. We just said per text message that we’re together now, after we had confessed to each other and then we flirted over text messages but we never did more than a few hugs and it was rather awkward when we met. When we started dating I was 11 and he was 13. Then he turned 14 and I turned 12 shortly after that. We dated for about 5 months. “Dated”.
    2) It was traumatic because he was my first love and I found out he liked me after 5 years of liking him and never saying anything. He was my first boyfriend and first breakup ever. Also, we never said that we’re breaking up. When my mom heard of our first attempt to date, she said I was too young (she didn’t understand that dating at that age isn’t really dating). So she took me off of the activity that was once per week and where I met him and saw him every week. Apparently, I only “went there to date guys”.

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 8, 2019 at 6:12 am #194462

    So I was in this position where I was cut off of the guy and felt like I had to explain myself to him. I never saw him after that.
    3) I want a boyfriend because I want someone to comfort me and listen to me and be there for me as someone who loves me. I mean I do have friends and family but that intimacy is different. Also I want to make some experiences as soon as possible. When I see other couples I’m like wow they’re really cute and goals, I want to be happy like that, too.
    4) Do you mean what I can’t do because I’m distracted by the thought about him? Sleep.

    Looking forward to your reply,
    Krystal

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 8, 2019 at 8:33 am #194469
    Reply To: Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    Hang in there. Consider this a temporary ” Ritardando” so you can “Accelerando” feeling good about yourself. I look foward to your reply and continuing our journey together.
    Best Wishes
    GJ

    I like that you’re including Musical Terms 😉

    Farmboy3018
    Farmboy3018
    Participant
    February 9, 2019 at 9:42 am #194537
    Reply To: Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    He likes you to, he just sounds shy or nervous and probably doesn’t want to seem overbearing/overeager or anything and blow it.

    iJustNeedToKnow11
    iJustNeedToKnow11
    Participant
    February 9, 2019 at 3:01 pm #194541
    Reply To: Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    I am in the same boat. Guys are so confusing but swear it is us. Just detach yourself while you’re ahead so you won’t get hurt too badly if things don’t go the way you planned. That’s the thing with us women… we expect things to go a certain way and it’s a killer to our minds. Just don’t expect. I hope I helped

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 9, 2019 at 4:16 pm #194546
    Reply To: Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    Thanks for your answers. I appreciate it!

    krystalviolin
    krystalviolin
    Participant
    February 9, 2019 at 7:36 pm #194547
    Reply To: Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    I sent him a picture of me in a dress and he answered wow😍. is that a clear sign that he’s flirting or that he likes me? or do guys just do that?

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    February 10, 2019 at 8:44 am #194555
    Reply To: Does this guy like me or is he just being very nice?

    Hello Krystalviolin

    Allegro Ma Non Troppo. For those on the forum in musical terminology this means “Fast, but not overly so.”

    Krystalviolin, the reason I say fast, but not overly so is due to where you are in life. At your stage of life you are not a child any more, and yet you are not an adult either. Your body and mind has been accelerating and developing at a very fast pace. Young adults, or what I like to call young adults in training, I hope you might me laughing a little with this phrase, are trying to figure out how and what it means to be an adult (to find and develop your identity, who you are, and who you are becoming). Similar to learning how to drive a car, the journey to finding and developing your identity can at times be enjoyable, confusing, and sometimes feel like a car wreck.

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