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AnonymousJune 5, 2016 at 3:57 pm #102195
Here is something to think about as well. I have used dating as a great way to understand all kinds of perspectives. The more saw and experienced, the more intelligent I became in understanding all the dynamics of relationships as well as being much more understanding about what people go through. I went through a phase where I decided I wanted to know what the guy felt like when trying to muster up the courage to ask a girl out. So I decided to be the initiator for a season. An boy was it an eye opening experience. It made me appreciate the strength and courage it takes to face potentially being rejected, in sometimes very rude ways. So don’t dismiss the idea of asking a guy out so quickly. There is so much more to dating and learning about yourself if you have the strength to experience many different perspectives.
AnonymousJune 5, 2016 at 4:13 pm #102196
I would encourage you to look elsewhere. This guy is not beating down your door and doing whatever it takes to be WITH you. He is doing what he can to be around you, but not WITH you. A man TRULY interested in a woman makes his intentions known both through words AND actions and he creates situations to be with you, get to know you on a deeper level and does what he can to keep you engaged with him. If you are asking whether or not he likes you (especially after an entire year of these games), then I say stop playing the games and find someone who can actually give you what you desire. So the real question I would be asking myself is this: Why am I investing ANY of my energy in a guy who is NOT AVAILABLE??? All he is doing is playing games and not being upfront and honest. Maybe that’s your pattern though. Maybe you only end up liking those “bad boy” types that play games and are not really emotionally available. If that’s true, then this problem really lies within you, not him.
AnonymousJune 5, 2016 at 4:18 pm #102199
Here is the truth…you deserve to have a man who is excited to see you, who loves to have you on his arm, who shares his daily thoughts and challenges with you and at the VERY LEAST who is able to be authentic and honest about his feelings for you. It sounds like you have some pretty strong standards. Add those to the list! Good luck with everything. I hope I was able to help, even if it was just a little.
kazeParticipantJune 6, 2016 at 10:11 am #102170
If he already asked you out to eat then what more do you want from the guy? Did you say no? I don’t understand why your asking if he likes you if he already asked you out. But what I really don’t understand is why you’d want to get with some one who obviously doesn’t put much stock into being “in a relationship” if he’s looking at you while dating some one else why do you think he would stop looking at others after getting with you? Just saying not trying to be mean. Hope you find happiness!
kazeParticipantJune 6, 2016 at 10:11 am #102171
So he talked about going out to dinner? What, did you say no? How is he supposed to ask you out? I’m confused.June 6, 2016 at 12:42 pm #102228
Thanks for the advice @heidigoodrich, shyness is an issue on his part and pride somewhat. I think he wanted to get to know me and i rushed it and all this happenedJune 6, 2016 at 12:58 pm #102232
@heidigoodrich and I guess a guy needs to get to know a girl better before confessing love for her and he had a gf and i rushed it and got into a fight about it with him and stopped the getting to know process
AnonymousJune 6, 2016 at 2:08 pm #102236
Of course shyness and pride can get in the way. Expressing “love” is something that, if done in a healthy way, is expressed through spending time with someone. It’s something that needs to be earned. Shyness and pride can come from different places. Shyness can be pure insecurity developed over time from a lot of rejecting experiences in life OR it can be part of a personality characteristic. Pride is ego driven no matter how you look at it. It can be a wonderful thing and a damaging thing….depends on the situation. You want everyone to answer your questions, but you still are not answering any of ours. You are spending all of this time and energy trying to figure him out when you have been asked a few times already, what are you doing trying to get with a guy who has a gf? He is not available for you. Plain and simple. The moment you found out, needed to be the moment you cut off all of your energy towards him. You did say you stopped the “getting
AnonymousJune 6, 2016 at 2:14 pm #102239
to know process.” Well, why are you here on this forum asking us questions if you really are done with him?? So since it’s quite obvious that you are NOT done with him and are still interested in connecting with a guy who is not available, it again points back to you. YOU need to really look at WHY you are doing this. I”m going to guess this is not the first time you want a guy who isn’t available….either you pick guys who are already taken or a guy who just plays games and isn’t really interested in investing in something with you. If this is the case, I get completely get it as that used to be my pattern. It takes a strong person to see that about themselves and work on changing that. I would encourage you once again, to say goodbye to the idea of this guy. Care about yourself enough to walk away. Shy or not…prideful or not….IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!! HE IS TAKEN!! He is playing games with you!!! He is not an honest man. He is caring more about his own needs than yours or
AnonymousJune 6, 2016 at 2:18 pm #102240
his gf. So disconnect and put your energy towards another guy who actually cares about you and isn’t using you! But you have to care enough about your own heart to NOT HAND IT OVER SO EASILY!!! He has done nothing to earn the prividlege to have your attention!!! He has done EVERYTHING to break your trust. Say goodbye and let him hurt someone else’s heart….not yours!
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