Don't know what to think…


Don't know what to think…

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    June 18, 2013 at 6:23 pm #33674
    Don't know what to think…

    I am new here, and here goes!

    I have been going out with a woman for 2 months. We’re official, exclusive, and all of that jazz. She is one of the sanest women I’ve met in years and I couldn’t ask for much more in a companion/partner/girlfriend.

    Before I go into further detail I’m just have to say that I’m sure that a million people a day have questions regarding a concern that began over or about social-media; mine is no different.

    NOW, we’ve been “Facebook official” for a few weeks. When we first became Facebook friends I had very limited access to anything that was on her account. A few days later I had access to most of her pictures. Shortly after we became “Facebook official” I practically had full-access to all of her stuff/pictures/friend list/etc. Now, today, I was just randomly browsing Facebook and popped her profile up and my access is limited again. The reason I knew was because where her friends usually popped up I only saw a picture my sister and my brother’s girlfriend. When I clicked on the friend box I was limited to only being able to see our mutual friends.

    I’m a pretty computer savvy person, and I’m 99.9% positive that what happened wasn’t just a Facebook glitch.

    I had a discussion with her about how I wasn’t comfortable about her talking about and referring to as friends people that she said that she used to screw around with. I have no problem, and would love to hear anything about her past, but when the anecdote is “my friend X’s kids”, or “Y gives such good massages”, or “I could talk to Z about you watching some girl-on-girl”, it makes me extremely uncomfortable.

    I told her several times that I am, by no means, telling her what to do. I told her that if she wants to do things like that, or she feels the urge to do them, to not let the way it makes me feel stand in the way. I said “don’t let my not being comfortable with something stop you from being who you are”, and “don’t let my saying I don’t like something stop you from doing what you want to do”. I told her that I wasn’t trying to tell her who she could and couldn’t be friends, or “friends” with.

    She told me that she only wanted to be with me, and that she was only Facebook friends with a few of her old “friends”.

    I don’t know what’s going on here. I feel like I’m one of those people that shares a lot of intimate and personal details of my life, especially with people that I’m in a committed/exclusive relationship with. I feel like myself trusting and sharing would encourage others to do the same. I guess I’m wrong. I feel like I”m being open to a person I’m trying to get to know, and figure that the other person will reciprocate.
    The other day, though, her brother’s wife mentioned something about my girlfriend not knowing a whole lot about me, and I said “I think it’s me that doesn’t know a whole lot about her”.

    Nothing was said about it.

    I also have been asking her to tell me things about her, but she always seems to tell me stories of her childhood. I appreciate all of the childhood stories because it helps give perspective of where a person came from, but it doesn’t give me any perspective of who she is or where she’s been.

    I don’t expect somebody to tell me everything about themselves over the course of two months, but I want to know more and I feel like we’re at a point where she should be able to trust me. I’m getting the feeling that it wouldn’t matter either way.

    There has to be some reason why.