dropped the L bomb on the 5th day just having meet

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dropped the L bomb on the 5th day just having meet

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    July 7, 2020 at 8:14 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    bellanina
    bellanina
    Participant
    May 26, 2020 at 5:06 pm #234350
    dropped the L bomb on the 5th day just having meet

    Hello,

    This thread will have many questions: I have been speaking to a man who resides in the UK for just over 5 days. We were introduced through my father who happened to have met him recently. I will skip on why my father introduced us to save you the TMI. So we have simply been talking over FaceTime (he always insists Facetime, not regular phone) the convos have been ok/nice. I don’t truly find him attractive, but this isn’t a deal breaker. Also, his english isn’t the greatest, not a deal breaker either. He doesn’t drive either, not a deal breaker for most but I have a bad experience with an EX who didn’t own a car and I promised myself NEVER AGAIN.
    But I don’t think we are a good match: he is religious, i am not. He doesn’t drink and looks down upon people who do. I am a major wine lover hahaha and don’t shy away from having a good time. i have been dating/seeking a relationship for 2 years. I do wish to have a family one day. POST TO FOLLOW BELOW FOR THE REST

    bellanina
    bellanina
    Participant
    May 26, 2020 at 5:12 pm #234352

    I do go in and out of feeling lonely and wanting to be in a relationship. I try to do visualizations in order to manifest the person who is right for me to enter my life. But over all, I am happy with the little life I built for myself. Now back to this man, he is very OLD fashioned, he says things like: I have just been waiting around all day for you to call me. I look at your FB pics to pass the time (this creeps me) and that he hasn’t felt like this with someone in 15 years and that I have given him a new sense of hope. And that he feels like he’s falling in LOVE with me. I have been having anxiety and feeling so much pressure since!!! To the point I am seeking advice on this thread!! I could go to my friends but I am getting such conflicting advice!! I know with what I have revealed, you will think: girl, you aren’t into him, enough said. But, like I said, i have been trying to manifest a relationship, what if this the person God (or higher power) brought to me? WILL CONTINUE NEXT

    GMale
    GMale
    Participant
    May 26, 2020 at 11:16 pm #234355

    Avoid religious nuts. Whatever happens to you is your right to existence and yours alone. No God has the right to sentence you to heaven or hell. I don’t have any words to describe how injust and wrong this relationship is, and how these things can happen, but you are allowing this to happen through obedience.

    @enerjen on Medium

    bellanina
    bellanina
    Participant
    May 27, 2020 at 8:20 am #234353

    What if I am supposed to compromise my lifestyle and who I am and be with this person? Maybe i am still single because i am being too picky about these types of things? SO CONFUSED. alot of intense questions when i just met this person who is already falling for me whereas i was just talking to him to see if I could maybe be interested for more? Also we live on different continents with a 5hr difference. THANK YOU FOR ALL ADVICE

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    May 28, 2020 at 6:14 pm #234445

    ” the convos have been ok/nice. I don’t truly find him attractive.”
    “I have a bad experience with an EX who didn’t own a car and I promised myself NEVER AGAIN.”
    “I don’t think we are a good match: he is religious, i am not.”
    ” I am a major wine lover…”
    “I have been having anxiety and feeling so much pressure since!!!”

    Don’t be a passenger in your own life. Take the wheel.
    Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.
    The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

    A belief in limitations creates acts of desperation!
    There are over 7 Billion people on the planet.
    You might want to read: “My Cat Won’t Bark! A Relationship Epiphany”

    The four steps to finding your ideal mate are:

    1. Become a “me” expert. (You have to clearly know what you want and have mate selection process)

    2. Create a profile of your ideal mate and be as granular as possible (what is his career type, hobbies, interests, and so on)

    3 Transference – Imagine you are him ask yourself (Would you want you?)
    If the answer is “no” then cultivate the traits you believe this type of man would want.

    4. Be there! In order to meet someone you have to “run in the same circles”
    If you were very detailed in step 2 you should have an idea of places to socialize to meet his type.
    Also consider joining a Meetup dot com group. They have wine tasting groups!

    GMale
    GMale
    Participant
    May 29, 2020 at 12:36 am #234449

    What did you write in your online dating profile?

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by GMale GMale.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by GMale GMale.
    • This reply was modified 1 month, 2 weeks ago by GMale GMale.
    GMale
    GMale
    Participant
    May 29, 2020 at 1:25 am #234453

    Ok, my friend says this to you:

    “Tell her to leave it she doesn’t know him and he is crazy and mentally unstable to fall in love with somebody after 5 days of near meaningless conversation. Tell him to get help. That’s me in my life. I fell in love with a girl I don’t know she did the right thing and didn’t fall for my shit. Maybe the back story on how they met and why her father introduced them can be helpful. But she states the father only met him briefly or recently. Fuck that guy she can find some other douche any other way and have a fucked up life that way.”

    E1991
    E1991
    Participant
    July 4, 2020 at 12:46 pm #235232

    This is a big red flag to me. Drop him and move on

    Queen
    Queen
    Participant
    July 7, 2020 at 6:02 pm #235284

    You can’t and shouldn’t force yourself to feel something for him. Maybe take a step back to give you both some time to think about things?

    Gambit
    Gambit
    Participant
    July 8, 2020 at 4:39 pm #235324
    Reply To: dropped the L bomb on the 5th day just having meet

    This is a tough one… but I think I agree with what the others here say. This guy isn’t probably the right one for you.