DUMPED & Confused!!!!

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DUMPED & Confused!!!!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2018 at 9:57 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    patrice agosto
    patrice agosto
    Participant
    June 12, 2018 at 6:45 pm #176868
    DUMPED & Confused!!!!

    I was dating a guy for a month. Everything was going great we had great chemistry and connection. I Supported him by getting him things I thought could help him out, such as, groceries, toilet tress, knick knacks, etc.. I would also pay utility bills for him with my credit card being that he didn’t have one and he would give me the cask instantly. He contacted me regularly and I stayed a couple weekends at his house. He also took me on a couple nice dates and I thought we enjoyed each other’s company immensely. I admit I believe we moved rather quickly being that this was my first post divorce relationship which included intimacy in over 2 years. I asked him on a date and my card declined at the restaurant. The bill was $48. He paid the bill and left me in the restaurant and Later texted me that he was embarrassed and don’t call him. Was he trying to get rid of me all along? Did he have someone on the side or something that would make him break things off so abruptly?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    June 13, 2018 at 5:42 pm #176991

    Didn’t you already post this same story?
    The answer remains the same. MOVE ON!

    Clearly this guy was never really “into you” and (four weeks) of dating does not make for an {exclusive relationship}.
    This is especially true if you met on a dating site or via social media. Your mistake was thinking you were in a “relationship”.
    Essentially you were paying utility bills, buying groceries, and various other nick knacks for a stranger.

    One clue for you should be if a guy doesn’t have his act together he’s not relationship material.
    Whether he asked you for help directly or “dry begged you” by mentioning his financial woes that should have been a “red flag”.

    Hopefully you will refine your mate selection process and must haves list before you get back into the dating scene.
    The typical infatuation phase of new relationship generally last from 4-12 weeks. Avoid over committing yourself emotionally too soon. You don’t start to know someone until after you’ve had disagreements.

    greenbook
    greenbook
    Participant
    June 17, 2018 at 1:14 pm #177256

    +1 with the poster above.

    Look, I am swimming in financial debt right now due to health issues, and I would never, ever, ask a woman – even a girlfriend of 12 months – to help me with my credit card bills. That’s my responsibility. Not hers. I believe in that concept so much that I would even offer a pre nup agreement that she is not responsible for my debts.

    I would also advise you to avoid all sexual contact if you want to committed relationship until there is not only commitment, but a high level of communication, emotional intimacy and trust. That takes TIME to develop. Several months. One of the major problems with having “physical intimacy” too early on in the relationship is that it confuses the relationship. You’ve just done the most intimate thing you can do with a person, and you don’t even know the dude. If you’re just into having fun that’s one thing, but if you want a relationship, DELAY. Especially with men.

    greenbook
    greenbook
    Participant
    June 17, 2018 at 1:20 pm #177257

    I have never met a man who is serious about a woman who won’t wait (unless it’s marriage or something like that). More importantly, you can’t have great physical intimacy in a relationship without communication first. SLOW DOWN.

    Also, if your divorce just ended, you might want to consider getting a counselor and not dating AT ALL. I got stung by a woman who after 5 months of breaking up with her fiancee was STILL rebounding. I could tell that she was making irrational decisions and getting way too physical with me because she was desperate for a man to make her feel sexy again. She was a great gal, but not relationship material at that time. Fortunately I didn’t do anything more than kissing her and got out of that thing.

    I wish you the best. Please slow down. I really would recommend counseling. It sounds like you’re rebounding in a major way from your previous relationship.

    • This reply was modified 5 months ago by greenbook greenbook.
    • This reply was modified 5 months ago by greenbook greenbook.
    • This reply was modified 5 months ago by greenbook greenbook.
    brokenAF23
    brokenAF23
    Participant
    June 26, 2018 at 5:01 am #177933

    Let go and move on.

    pisceslady89_
    pisceslady89_
    Participant
    June 26, 2018 at 5:56 am #177935

    He isn’t relationship material. He doesn’t have his act together. Based on your post. I’m sorry if you feel devastated but you have to let t go and move on. Try not to be too emotional at an early stage of dating. Usually relationships that are too fast, won’t last.

    Helnbak
    Helnbak
    Participant
    September 8, 2018 at 4:26 am #183759

    He was using you to pay for things. I wouldn’t pay for a guy’s things until way into a relationship. But also think aboutif that’s the kind of guy uppity want. Most women want to be in a relationship with a guy that can if not provide, at least handle his own responsibilities

    whitney0586
    whitney0586
    Participant
    September 9, 2018 at 1:01 am #183800

    I’m so sorry you went through that, he was clearly using you. I know it’s tough, but please move on b/c you deserve better. Put yourself back out there and you’ll find a great guy to treat you the way you deserve!

    JaneDoe99
    JaneDoe99
    Participant
    September 26, 2018 at 10:18 am #185388

    Sounds like maybe he had some guilt about using you to pay for stuff.

    fordone
    fordone
    Participant
    September 27, 2018 at 5:55 pm #185674
    Reply To: DUMPED & Confused!!!!

    All comments are true my dear , he never really cared, as painfull it might bt the dude e this should be a stepping stone not a stumbling block , move on and forget him

    matchalatte
    matchalatte
    Participant
    October 8, 2018 at 9:57 pm #186443
    Reply To: DUMPED & Confused!!!!

    He probably was embarrassed, using you, felt guilty, etc. It’s a bad time for him to be in a relationship. If he can’t accept the fact that he needs help and is comfortable with it then he’s not worth it. People need help sometimes. I did and I was embarrassed but it made me work harder and not accept any money……you should ditch him, you deserve better.