Earning my Ex's Heart Back – Advice Needed

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Earning my Ex's Heart Back – Advice Needed

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    December 12, 2018 at 1:18 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    LordRAR
    LordRAR
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 7:33 pm #190652
    Earning my Ex's Heart Back – Advice Needed

    Hello Readers!
    I am out of my element here, in the sense that I never ask for help or advice when it comes to relationships; however, I have stumbled into a problem where I can no longer help myself but instead need the help of others.

    I am trying to win my ex-girlfriend back because she is the only girl I’ve been with who I have truly cared about; however, she wants nothing to do with me. How can I help achieve her space, her sense of heeling, and show her how much I care and love her at the same time? She claims I cheated on her during a time we were broken up. I made a mistake with an ex because of the feelings I had about being broken after 2 years and 8 months. I made a regrettable mistake and I was hurting afterwards. After making my mistake, she wanted to rekindle things and we did, until she found out.

    My questions:
    What can I do to win her heart back?
    What should I do next?

    This is very similar to two episodes of FRIENDS: Season 3, Episode 15 & 16

    LordRAR
    LordRAR
    Participant
    December 6, 2018 at 7:46 pm #190655

    Backstory (Part 1):
    For privacy concerns, I changed the names in the story. My name is John Smith and my girlfriend’s name is Jane Doe. I found the perfect girl 2 years and 8 months ago. We are both in the Army; however she is in the enlisted ranks and I am in the officer ranks. Because of the policies set in place within our organization, we have kept our relationship a secret. During this time, we experienced our share of issues and heartbreaks. She broke up with a few times in our relationship but I would always bring us back together. Never once did I feel I would lose her. She is the love of my life and no issue could keep us apart. A few days ago (Monday), an issue set in that tore us apart. She wanted to take my dog to work with her during an 8 hour shift to which I was uncomfortable with the idea. My dog, Leia, is a pitbull-golden retriever mix and is the gentlest dog around.

    LordRAR
    LordRAR
    Participant
    December 7, 2018 at 9:08 am #190656

    Backstory (Part 2):
    However, I did not trust the kids my girlfriend worked with as she works with troubled youth on the military base I work on. I explained that dogs are not allowed on base, Leia is not registered, she shouldn’t be around kids, and the 8+ hour shift is a long time period for a 2 year old dog to be out and about. I told her I was uncomfortable with the situation. My girlfriend told me in an angry manner that I did not trust her to take care of my dog and that I did not trust her judgement. I explained that that was not the case. She insisted that I did not trust her and that she couldn’t be with someone that she couldn’t trust and that we are over with. She broke up with (via a phone conversation) right there. I tried calling her back and she kept hanging up on me.

    LordRAR
    LordRAR
    Participant
    December 7, 2018 at 9:08 am #190658

    Backstory (Part 4):
    That night (Monday night), I decided to bring flowers to her place of work so that when she got off work we could talk through these issues as adults. I waited for her and upon seeing her get into her car, she decided to drive over to the base bar and relief her stress. I wanted outside with my flowers, as I did not want to cause drama inside the bar. When she wasn’t coming out after an hour, I decided to leave her flowers in her car where she would see them as soon as she entered her car (she always leaves her doors unlocked). As I get back into my car, I see her walk outside and towards her car with another man. I immediately get knots in my stomach as I assumed the worse. The guy drives her car away and I assume she is in the passenger seat. I left the base to go home; distraught from what I saw and the thoughts that developed thereafter. I was not only crying, but yelling in my car out of frustration, depression, and sorrow.

    LordRAR
    LordRAR
    Participant
    December 7, 2018 at 9:08 am #190659

    Backstory (Part 5):
    I didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. On the way home, I decided to send a message to an ex-girlfriend of mine via Instagram. I was looking for someone to talk to, someone to tell me I didn’t cause any of this. My ex decided to meet up with me and while on the way to see her, I received a phone call from Jane Doe. She is intoxicated beyond belief and slurring her words. I asked if she was ok, and if she was at home. She said no, that she was going to sleep at the base where she worked. I told her I would come by and take her home and take care of her. She said no, and reminded me that we could not be together. It was at this point that I was asking for 10mins of her time, in person the following morning, to explain myself and prove to her via actions how much I love her and that I want to be with her.