Educate me.

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Educate me.

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    Sierra117
    Sierra117
    Participant
    December 24, 2018 at 2:09 pm #191661
    Educate me.

    Can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I particularly want to hear from the ladies but guys with insight are welcome to reply. I am 22, a future officer in the US Air force with a pilot contract (employment background). I am 100 hundred percent independent from my parents. I workout a lot and while I’m not jacked like Terry crews, I have a lean build with less than 10 percent body fat. I’m not the most handsome man in the world but I am definitely physically attractive. I speak 3 languages, have traveled more than most my age, and enjoy financial security and no crippling student debt. I do not say this because I’m trying to show off but I’m trying to show the complete me. I have never had a girlfriend and lately the little luck I had with meeting girls on dating apps has dwindled to zero and have been ignored/rejected by every girl I message. Online is my only chance because I’m terrified of approaching girls in public. I don’t like bars or clubs. What do I do?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 24, 2018 at 3:19 pm #191663

    ” I have never had a girlfriend…”
    ” I’’m terrified of approaching girls in public. I don’t like bars or clubs.”

    If you want something different YOU have to do something different!
    When we change our circumstances change.

    Seems like your number one issue is a total lack of confidence.
    There’s no reason on earth why a guy who is “physically attractive” and financial secure should be “terrified”.
    A lot of guys in your situation become frustrated when they see pretty girls throwing themselves at guys with much less.

    Ever heard of a lonely narcissist? player? jerk? a-hole, gangster/thug, Alpha Male and so on? NO!!!
    Think that’s a coincidence? The main difference between those guys and you is they are bolder, have confidence, and swagger.
    Young women in particular are drawn to guys who they see as being a “challenge” to get their attention, affection, or love.
    “Nice guys” end up in their “Friend Zone”.
    Bars/nightclubs are great for youth. They came to party/dance. Find a mentor/wingman.

    Sierra117
    Sierra117
    Participant
    December 24, 2018 at 3:25 pm #191665

    So to clarify the last part I’m very introverted. I have tried the bar and club scene before but it’s the equivalent of slow death for me. That’s the reason i go online. But you have stirred my interest. How is it that women can read me so easily online?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 25, 2018 at 11:39 am #191669

    I suspect it has to do with the tone/what you have written in your profile or the photos you use.

    As I stated it can’t hurt to have a male friend who is good with women to hit nightclubs with.
    The reason why you need to continue to hit the club scene is because all you have to do is (ask women to dance) as a icebreaker.
    If she says no you walk away and maybe find another woman on the other side the club to ask.
    The more you do this the better you’ll get at recognizing which ones are into the music/having fun and enjoy dancing.

    Also “old can be gold”. If you’re striking out with women in your own age group try pursuing older women 30-35.
    Some are divorced, play less games, are confident, independent, go out to bars/clubs alone, and are not expecting a “fairytale”. They have sex simply because THEY want to without any hidden agenda.
    The way to get good at anything is to do it over and over again.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
    At your age your focus should be on having FUN.

    ok2go
    ok2go
    Participant
    December 26, 2018 at 7:05 am #191674

    You have the wrong picture, wrong profile or send the wrong messages. You need to reframe your whole idea of who you are. Stop trying to approach girls in public to get a ‘girlfriend’ and start chatting up girls everywhere and learn to interact with women. Learn to be definite, tell stories and develop a sense of humor. Even if you meet someone online, you eventually need to meet her, then what? You have to learn to make decisions in relationships (not just in your job) and not try and be mr. nice beta with lots of money and a good physique.

    devdo
    devdo
    Participant
    January 9, 2019 at 9:51 am #192191

    I think that you are setting yourself up for disaster. You sound desperate to meet someone. That is an issue. Before you put yourself on the market, you need to be absolutely happy and content with yourself. I know that sounds hard to many, but everyone can get there.
    After you become happy and content with yourself, you will probably not want to complicate your life with dating. However, if you still do, your confidence and content will shine and women will come to you.

    Good luck.