Ex girlfriend as friends

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Ex girlfriend as friends

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    November 11, 2019 at 8:34 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    zuzubots
    zuzubots
    Participant
    April 18, 2017 at 8:16 pm #133606
    Ex girlfriend as friends

    I met a beautiful woman who is perfect for me. I’m 60 she is 50. She’s a widow whose husband died 5 years ago. I’ve been divorced for over 27 years. She met her late husband when she was a teen, and I was with my ex-wife since I was 17. However since her husband has died she has been in depression and has dated no one. On the other hand since my divorce I’ve dated many women but have remained close friends with only two of them. The relationship I have with these two ex’s is strictly platonic and absolutely nothing more, The one ex I broke up with 22 years ago and the other 10 years ago.
    My new girlfriend and I are madly in love and I’m planning to marry her. The problem is that she’s giving me an ultimatum to either end my relationship with these two ex’s or end our relationship. She wants to marry me and treats me like a king. I see her as my future but I am afraid of losing two of my closest friends. I tried ending the friendships but am having a difficult time dealing with it.

    Vicarstar
    Vicarstar
    Participant
    April 20, 2017 at 12:16 am #133751

    It’s no fair for your new girlfriend, and not worth to do this.

    leanna5
    leanna5
    Participant
    November 5, 2017 at 6:16 am #155104

    well, nice to see there are guys who like age appropriate women.

    JessC
    JessC
    Participant
    November 5, 2017 at 11:33 am #155109

    If there is nothing romantic going on with your two exes, who are your friends, then I see nothing wrong with you keeping a friendship with them. Has your girlfriend said why she wants you to end the friendships? I’m sorry but I feel it’s wrong on your girlfriend’s part to give an ultimatum about you ending your friendships with these two women. It’s kind of controlling. Unless she has just cause for concern (i.e. you talk to them all day every day, spend a lot of time alone with them, talk non-stop about these women) I don’t see why this is a problem. Do you have other female friends? How does she feel about them? Also, do you refer to your exes as “exes” or as “friends”? Because if you call them “friends” then it shows you just see them as friends. But you if you refer to them as “my ex” then it looks as if you still have some kind of feelings for them. First try to understand why your girlfriend wants you to end the friendships. Maybe you two can reach a compromise.

    Truthteller
    Truthteller
    Participant
    April 25, 2019 at 10:34 am #199067

    How did all work out? Was it more than just early infatuation that you missed other motives on her part to alienate you from your support structure?

    Loveshope
    Loveshope
    Participant
    July 24, 2019 at 8:04 pm #204298

    I think if I had to take away all of my ex’s for the person I love I would definitely do it. I believe that exes are exes for a reason and even though some of them can be good friends and good people if you have found love and the person you love feels discomfort and knowing that you are still speak to or hanging out with an ex then sometimes we do have to make a hard decision. You can try to make her comfortable with the presence of them in your life but if it doesn’t work and you still want to be with her then she has already told you what will make her happy. Ask yourself do you want to make her happy or do you want to lose her? Ask her what can you do to prove that the relationship is secure maybe spending time with them will make her feel more comfortable.