Falling in Love with a Complicated Situation


Falling in Love with a Complicated Situation

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    September 2, 2014 at 3:01 pm #60534
    Falling in Love with a Complicated Situation

    I met a guy online back in April. We met up for lunch after texting and getting to know each other for a few weeks, and the spark was almost immediate. It really felt like I had always known him and he made me feel so comfortable. We’ve continued talking as friends and seeing each other. As our friendship has grown, it became clear that though he was on the dating site, he wasn’t REALLY looking for a relationship. More like a hookup. In spite of that, we’ve remained friends and I’ve continued to date. Recently, the amount of time we spend together has increased. We see each other at least once a week and talk pretty much daily. One day, he revealed to me that he has a baby on the way with his ex and that she lives with him. I felt a little taken aback by that, but I really don’t mind it now. We’re nothing more than friends, he’s not leading me on. But I feel like I’m falling for him. And now, I’m confused about what to do or how to feel. 🙁

    September 2, 2014 at 8:11 pm #60555

    Well, nobody can tell you how to feel. I can say how I might feel, but that doesn’t do much good. What I can say is that falling for this guy isn’t a “complicated situation” so much as a multi-step dilemma. For one, how does this guy talk about his ex? How does he feel about her, and for that matter, the baby? I realize that guys with multiple partners aren’t inherently bad, but how does he value the women in his life? I think you should take your foot off the emotional gas, and think about how involved you want to be in this guy’s life. Can you trust him, not just as a friend, but as a partner? Is he honest? Does he admit his mistakes? Is he taking responsibility for those mistakes? I know these aren’t the throbbing, emotional questions you may have been hoping for, but remember, this guy doesn’t come first, you do.

    September 4, 2014 at 5:30 pm #60712

    Please…promise me one thing: Be careful who you give your heart to!
    You might get it back broken in pieces !

    If things develope between you and him and you end up having an affaire with him….Do you know what that would say about him as a person?

    – He is capable of cheating not only on his girlfriend, but also on the mother of his child.

    Do you how what else that means?

    . He would be capable of leaving you after a while as much as he did leave his girlfriend / the mother of his child.

    Why should he be different to you?

    believe me: you do neither need nor want to be in this situation!

    Are there no wonderful men, that are available, single? I am sure there are guys that are amazing…AND single !

    Please do not go the path and start having something romantic with a guy that is taken and a soon-to be father !

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  MissSunshine.
    • This reply was modified 3 years, 9 months ago by  MissSunshine.
    September 4, 2014 at 7:20 pm #60726

    I can say from past experience that getting involved with someone with a child is always going to be complicated. No matter what, the other person is ALWAYS going to be in the picture. I realize that you can’t choose who you fall for, but this one is a loaded gun. Tread carefully, and always keep that nugget of knowledge in the back of your mind. As harsh as this sounds, find someone who has less baggage. I know its easier said than done, but like I did a few months ago, just “rip off the bandage”. It hurts like hell at first, but when you look back, you’ll be glad you didn’t get involved.

    September 5, 2014 at 8:38 am #60719

    I am sorry….I have just realized, that in my last response i missed the informatiom that it is his ex..and not his girlfriend.

    I apologize.

    But still:

    Do you think, that he is honest? can you trust him?
    Is she really his ex?

    I mean, if he still lives with her…ok, it might be because of their baby….
    but please, …be careful !

    I really do not want you to end up being hurt !