Fiance giving up or just a flake!

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Fiance giving up or just a flake!

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    September 9, 2019 at 7:50 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    jonnylaw8069
    jonnylaw8069
    Participant
    September 9, 2019 at 4:07 pm #206774
    Fiance giving up or just a flake!

    So, I’ve been dating this woman for 3 years, we move in together for a entire year– this makes our fourth year now. Everything was going good until she wants to go and see her grandchildren- ( everyday or stay the night everyday ) mind you we are in our 40’s ,and her daughters family are in there 20’s. Let me give a better background for you to understand.
    We dated for a year- her daughter got pregnant with child one,things went fine,, then with in that second year her daughter had baby two – so she broke up with me from needing to help her daughter with her new family ( I understood ). We picked things up after 6 months apart, and decided she was to move in with me.But during that year things start turning into needing to help her daughter every time she had off, THE KICKER
    Every evening she was tired, every weekend her back hurt, and then every vacation was spent leaving me to watch her grandchildren.
    Now she lives with her daughter!!!! what should I have done different

    scarcegold
    scarcegold
    Participant
    September 11, 2019 at 5:10 pm #206923

    From what you have said, I personally don’t think there’s anything you could have done differently. She may well be genuinely too tired from helping with her grandkids, but I think she could put a lot more effort in if she really wants to be with you. so ill say she’s being flaky

    jonnylaw8069
    jonnylaw8069
    Participant
    September 12, 2019 at 12:29 pm #206968

    Well I did what I could by paying all the bills and for the most part helping her with her own bills. That might have been my first mistake.After all of this – she claims I asked her to choose from me or her family and that just wasn’t the case. So we had a sit down talk about ( what about me and her) and she took it that the relationship was over and she would never leave her family.This must be a communication problem , maybe on both ends.I am just floored about all this- how a woman can not be grown up and let others have time to grow up. Saying all that in a good way.Must be a detachment issue I think.

    monicac
    monicac
    Participant
    September 15, 2019 at 8:29 am #207029

    There is nothing you could have done differently. she didnt make your relationship a priority

    Michelle Behrens
    Michelle Behrens
    Participant
    September 16, 2019 at 11:58 pm #207136

    Nothing. She’s apparently emotionally unavailable for some reason. No reflection on you at all.

    jonnylaw8069
    jonnylaw8069
    Participant
    September 17, 2019 at 9:05 am #207144

    Just glad I can hear others say what I’ve been thinking on this situation.No relationship is perfect BUT it truly sucks for all the effort I’ve put in not to get a lovable reaction from someone I loved.I was married-once before for 14 years and got out of that marriage for basically the same reasons– thinking I give too much, then I get forgotten about during the relationship. Thank you all for the reply’s and comments- this site has helped a lot during this.

    Michelle Behrens
    Michelle Behrens
    Participant
    September 18, 2019 at 2:29 am #207185

    Yup, we givers have to really watch out. Of course no relationship is perfect, but it shouldn’t ever cause us to feel we’re getting the short end of the stick. That will will lead to disappointment and unhappiness. I had that situation with my ex. I finally understood he just didn’t care how I felt or went through running everything in the household, yard maintenance, his child and a very stressful job….while he went to work and did nothing else… a job that was like play for him. It took me ten years but I finally got out, lol. Don’t ever let anyone disrespect you in that way again. I know I won’t! Lol.