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Engaged a year, one daughter looked horrified when she was told.
Fiancees milestone birthday was upcoming, I texted her to find out her plans so I could arrange a night away and a friends dinner if she hadn’t planned one. Was told bbq, not sure which day, she would get back to me. No response back, was mentioned 5 days before his birthday in front of me and she asked for friends telephone numbers. Looked at me and said, “didn’t my sister tell you, that was her job”. No apology.
Her mother won’t acknowledge me at family functions. Very rude and turns her back on me. I felt the bbq was planned as a family gathering and asked my fiancee if their mother had been asked. Turns out she was, against his knowledge. I told him I would spend his birthday with him but I wouldn’t be around her, made that decision a year ago. He told his daughter and xwife that I would be around her at family functions but not with friends so disinvited her. I didn’t want her disinvited from her daughters home.April 27, 2016 at 10:03 pm #99002
Further: I didn’t go to the party. Felt it was planned as a pure family function initially, couldn’t disrespect my fiancees 4 kids wishes to have their mother there, asked for her to be included in her daughters home for his birthday. My night away booking hold went out the door whilst awaiting the daughters text which didn’t come. He doesn’t see that his daughter didn’t consider me, he thinks I let him down because I would have felt sick to the pit of my stomach walking into her home with her mother ostracized. Am I so wrong to have acted on my own standards and values. My adults kids would not treat him like that.April 28, 2016 at 9:15 am #99003
Points I considered : The mother obviously dislikes me
The daughter would know that. My fiancee and their mother do not socialize, only ever together at family functions.
Mother invited without fiancees knowledge
Fiancee invited his old friends, their friends, not any friends who we socialize with that I introduced him to.
Daughter didn’t consider letting me know when bbq planned and that she planned to invite friends when she knew I was organizing that for another night.
Fiancee thinks that because his daughters we sitting busy scheming his birthday, their words, that letting me know wasn’t rude.
He told his friends that I went to visit my mother so I am now under critical attack from them.
I asked for the mother to be reincluded, but she wasn’t.
He is frightened to explain to his daughter that she was slack in not responding and also that inviting the x was out of line
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