[Hayley Matthews DatingAdvice.com]

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[newbie_melbParticipant]

February 2, 2015 at 7:32 am #72361

First crush, and already in the friend zone?

I need some advice on recognising if I’m in the friend-zone with a woman I’m interested in, and how to avoid it if I’m not there yet. I’m new to this – I only recently came out (early 30s).
I met her 2wks ago at an LGBT festival (I’m 100% certain she’s into women). I like her, we get on well, we have the same job, and we exchanged details. She lives 3hrs away; we’ve chatted online, and we marched in Pride together last weekend. It was a lot of fun – we already have private jokes, she teases me about my non-smartphone, we shared personal stories. I feel like there’s potential. Later, her train left before mine, so I waited with her on her platform; the goodbye was a little awkward, and instead of a hug, she high-fived me. She texted from the train 5mins later and said it was an awesome day, but I’m a little confused. Friend zone, or not? If so, how do I get out of it, since she lives 3hrs away and only comes to the city once or twice a month, and we may not get to meet every time?

[Gangsta_gUy420Participant]

February 2, 2015 at 2:53 pm #72413

I do not really know what to tell you.. I would say go with whatever it is your gut is telling you.. Otherwise maybe try inviting her to come to the cities, just to hang out with you. Or if you can go there and hang out with her? Usually a lot of mixed feelings are from miscommunication so I would advise just trying to hang out with her more often, or when available, and see how that goes, and leaves you feeling. I wouldnt give up quite yet. Not until she gives you a clear sign she isnt interested.

[Gunny01Participant]

February 2, 2015 at 5:40 pm #72439

Go with whatever you think

[Lovinglife82Participant]

February 3, 2015 at 4:26 pm #72483

I am kind of in the same boat I guess you can say I have been talking to this girl for a couple of months and we have gone out several times I am very interested in her in being more than friends and I kind of get this feeling she might be into me a little more than friends, but I don’t know how to approach the situation to find out if she’s ready to make it more into a relationship.

[newbie_melbParticipant]

February 15, 2015 at 9:35 pm #73482

Thanks for your advice, first of all. It turns out I had nothing to worry about. I haven’t seen her since, but we’re in almost daily contact via text and FB, sometimes for hours, and after a conversation last night that was more flirty than usual, we both acknowledged that “this” needs to be talked about. The problem was that although the topic had been raised, we wouldn’t be able to meet for two weeks. Rather than waiting, and since she said she was really awkward at these kinds of conversations (and I’ve become an expert at them, usually ending in rejection), I started, declaring my hand by saying although it was too early to define it, I felt “potential”. She agreed immediately. All I could do was smile. We’ll see how it goes from here. 🙂

[SonadowverLesbianParticipant]

March 23, 2015 at 6:40 pm #75860

Okay I’m a 11 year old girl from Texas, and I have a really aweshum friend that I met in September last year… We are already bff’s and… I love her! But she’s a kind straight girl that’s Christian like I am! I’m in the friend-zone, but… is there anyway to get out of the friend zone, into Zone 1- Home-Zone? Or, should I just lose hope for a straight girl? Please tell me advice as soon as you can!
She has no idea that I’m lesbian, and she thinks I’m straight. Crystal is a very accepting girl, so should I tell her I’m a lesbo?
I also have a boyfriend from b4 I became a lesbo, and I wanna tell him the truth about me… should I?

[PaladzeParticipant]

May 27, 2015 at 5:53 am #79756

Just tell about your love and you are not in frieond zone any more!

[EJ123Participant]

May 30, 2015 at 10:36 am #79910

Go with your gut feeling.

[AnnBennettParticipant]

June 4, 2015 at 6:18 am #80126

go the same way

[Brunton1Participant]

June 20, 2015 at 1:31 am #81363

Reply To: First crush, and already in the friend zone?

Hi there, wow this question hits close to home for me as I have my own situation going on kind of relative to yours. In any case,
my advice is this. You mentioned that you recently came out. Is this woman aware of that or have you somehow perhaps
conveyed that to her? Also, is it possible that because you recently came out, that you have become interested in someone who
is in a similar boat or perhaps not all the way out yet? You did say you went to a pride event so that is a good step. My point is,
perhaps the coming out process has made this a bit awkward for one or both of you but because you like her so much, it is hard
for you to pinpoint this. The other thing could be that perhaps she takes longer to figure out to whom she might be attracted,
or maybe she is just shy. Some people know right away if they are interested in someone for dating and some people are less
certain. I think you should suggest a cup of coffee together, anda casual talk. Perhaps that will help. Good Luck!