First "date" feedback

DATING ADVICE FORUM

First "date" feedback

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    jason90
    jason90
    Participant
    December 28, 2018 at 12:12 pm #191734
    First "date" feedback

    Hello,

    How I went on a first “date” last night. I can’t tell if she thought of it that way. Anyways, I thought it went well for a variety of reasons:

    She was receptive to my touch (but didn’t reciprocate)
    She seemed nervous, constantly touching face and pulling her hair back from her eyes
    She was laughing, smiling, and the conversation flowed smoothly
    We stayed out for a while, about 4 hours. She didn’t seem to want to leave.
    She seemed to get a bit embarrassed when I complimented her hair (she’d never worn it that way before)

    With that being said, she didn’t ask me anything personal about myself, although she has a much more interesting “story” She also didn’t really tease or compliment me. I closed the night by giving her a hug. I sent her a text in the morning saying we should go for drinks again soon and she said “Yes we should 🙂 Let me check my schedule”

    I realize I’m overthinking things but I can’t figure out if we just went for drinks as friends/cowowkers.

    Jason

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 29, 2018 at 3:01 pm #191742

    “She was receptive to my touch (but didn’t reciprocate)”
    “she didn’t ask me anything personal about myself”
    “She also didn’t really tease or compliment me…”

    In response to seeing each other again she said:
    “Let me check my schedule.”

    Actually you are not overthinking.
    It is important to be honest with yourself when recapping a date or even evaluating a relationship.

    There are two possibilities

    1. She has very little dating experience and simply does not know she should indicate interest in someone she likes.

    2. She’s not “into you” but decided to “make the most out of the date” rather than cut it off short or behave rudely.

    In the mean time while she is “checking her schedule” you should Keep Your Options Open by dating Other Women.
    “Let me check my schedule” could mean “Don’t call me. I’ll call you.” or Her life is so busy she has to “make time” for cocktails. The bottom line is if someone believes YOU are worth the effort they will make the effort.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 29, 2018 at 3:22 pm #191744

    As for your final thought: “I can’t figure out if we just went for drinks as friends/coworkers..”
    You are on the cusp of entering into the “Friend Zone”.

    After being on a (4 hour date) with a woman you claim was receptive to your touch, smiling/laughing, and didn’t seem to want to leave…
    For some unexplained reason YOU chose not to kiss her good-night!
    That’s exactly how guys get into the “friend zone”.

    You would be better off getting rejected than wasting your time “trying to figure out” if she likes you romantically.
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!
    If there’s ever a second date go for the kiss.

    When you say she didn’t “tease you” I assume you mean she didn’t (flirt with you).
    Once again either she was awestruck in your presence which made her extremely shy or she simply was not into you.
    There is a reason why you chose to end the date with a hug as opposed to a good-night kiss.
    Most likely there was an absence of romantic sparks.

    grimm
    grimm
    Participant
    December 29, 2018 at 7:43 pm #191752

    I think the best thing you can do in this situation is just wait for her to get back to you about her schedule. If she’s interested, she will definitely do that if you already told her that you want to see her again. If you don’t hear from her after a few days, you could shoot her a text saying something like “hey, think you’re gonna be able to pencil me in for another date this week?;)”

    Some girls are gonna be pretty shy even if you suggested going out again and will want you to re-initiate that offer to make sure that you’re still interested. If at that point she doesn’t respond, or if she says she’s busy but doesn’t suggest another time you could go out, then you can be pretty sure she’s just not interested.

    Branehart
    Branehart
    Participant
    December 30, 2018 at 8:43 pm #191762

    “she didn’t ask me anything personal about myself,” – she doesn’t sound so good. A date is a research project on someone. You go on a date to find out about someone. A good date is where you can’t stop asking the other person questions – about what’s important to them, long term plans, desires, how they enjoy spending their time, what they would want done today if they were to die tomorrow, all that stuff. You don’t come out and ask those things verbatim; you segue into them. “Oh, I love Mexican food! There’s a place across from my law firm” “how do you like being an associate?” “The hours are long but I love going into court, even though the judges can be rough. I love litigating. How about you? Aerospace, huh?” “Design work’s da bomb. I love wrapping my brain around it.” From this hypo conversation you can tell these two are very work-oriented, and probably have to be content with not seeing each other much for the foreseeable future if they want to hook up.

    Branehart
    Branehart
    Participant
    December 30, 2018 at 8:43 pm #191763

    she sounds like she really didn’t care, she was indifferent. Move on probably

    jason90
    jason90
    Participant
    December 31, 2018 at 7:39 pm #191792

    Hello,

    Thank you for your responses. So after not hearing back from her for 3 days, she decided to reach out to me. She heard me discussing plans with a fellow coworker which could fall through, and she told me to text her if things were cancelled and we could grab drinks that night. I ended up texting her to set something up a few days later. Am I just a second option? She has also referred to us going for drinks as “hanging out” does this suggest we are just friends? I should also note that she has a somewhat conservative background.

    Jason

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 2, 2019 at 6:04 pm #191821
    Reply To: First "date" feedback

    At best you’re heading into the FRIEND ZONE!

    “she told me to text her if things were cancelled and we could grab drinks that night.”
    I suspect if you “hang out” or have drinks she EXPECTS (you) to pay!
    Even though SHE indirectly asked you out this time around.

    Be glad “she didn’t suggest” you take a trip to Jamaica because you’d be expected to pay for it.
    Nothing this woman has said or done gives you any indication she is “romantically interested” in YOU!

    If you continue down this path you will have no one but yourself to blame for being played.
    Remember there are over 7 Billion other people you could spending your time with.
    Odds are at least one of them would actually be into YOU.

    Best wishes!

    92untitled
    92untitled
    Participant
    January 8, 2019 at 5:45 pm #192182
    Reply To: First "date" feedback

    I think she is an easy going girl and could care less. I would say move on and find someone who will show you your worth!

    devdo
    devdo
    Participant
    January 8, 2019 at 9:15 pm #192186
    Reply To: First "date" feedback

    What are you expecting from this “date” exactly?
    Are you looking for a hookup or an LTR?

    Setanta
    Setanta
    Participant
    January 9, 2019 at 8:00 am #192207
    Reply To: First "date" feedback

    Find love elsewhere