Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

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Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 6:21 pm #193390
    Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    A month ago I ran in to a coworker (named London) I use to have a crush on but didn’t do anything with because London had a boyfriend at the time. I said hi and casually mentioned I was going to Scotland and London said she might go too and we should meet up if we both go. Of course I said sure!

    2 weeks after that I ran into a different coworker who said London told her a year ago that she thought I was cute and would totally go for me if she was single.

    5 days ago I ran into London again and told her we should plan to meet up In Scotland she said she has to check with management to see if she can get days off. Then she asked me my dates and said those are the dates she wants to go too.I wrote down my number and gave it to her. I told her I would text her my flight info. She said cool, I’ll text u.

    It’s been about 5 days and no text from her yet. When I see her, should I tell her to text me again? Or ask her for her number or just talk like I didn’t give her my number?

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 10:42 pm #193393

    My first question is how did the topic of London being attracted to you come up between you and another female co-worker two weeks after you ran into London?

    I need a little information from you to be able to provide you with my suggestions:
    1. Now London was the one who initially suggested the two of you should meet up in Scotland.
    2. Next she confirms that the dates you provided work for her but she needs to get it cleared with work.
    3. Next you give her your number. Did she give you her number?
    4. You told her you would text her your flight info. Did you have her number and text her the flight info?
    5. Why are you so concerned that she didn’t text you in 5 days? What are you feeling and what are you telling yourself is the reason she did not text you?
    O look foward to reading your responses and giving you my responses.

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 7:09 am #193394

    Coworker said a year ago “this girl told me if she didn’t have a boyfriend, she would go for u”. she said she cant tell me who. I ran in to the same coworker 2 weeks ago,and pushed her to tell me who it was.she finally told me it was London
    1) Yes, she said exactly “i might be going too and we can meet up if i go.”
    2) Yes, shes not sure if she has any vacation days left.
    3) She was with some clients and it would be weird for me to ask her for her number. So i wrote my number down, gave it to her discretely and said text me, i will tell you my dates.She came up to me after she was done with the clients to talk to me more about the details. I didn’t think to ask for her number cause she already had mine. In retrospect I felt like i should had.
    5) I guess i feel like if she liked me, she would of text me right away. I’m telling myself maybe she doesn’t like me any more and thinks of me as a friend.I want to ask her out but dont know how to proceed now that she didn’t call me. thanks!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 1:13 pm #193437

    “London told her a year ago that she thought I was cute and would totally go for me {if she was single}.”
    Does she still have a boyfriend? If she does the:
    “London said she might go too and we should meet up if we both go.” really means nothing.

    Essentially all she did was say if she “happens” to be in the same place you guys could maybe meet for a drink.
    There is nothing you said which would indicate she presently has a romantic interest in you.
    Generally speaking when a guy gives a girl his phone number it’s because he’s scared to ask for hers or she’s seeing someone.

    If someone tells you they will text or call you and 5 days go by clearly it was not a major priority for them.
    I would let it go. The ball is in her court now. She may text you upon her arrival if she does end up going.
    As I stated she may be dating someone right now and later decided not bother risking her relationship.

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 4:56 pm #193472

    Generally speaking when a guy gives a girl his phone number it’s because he’s scared to ask for hers or she’s seeing someone.

    Yeah i agree with you. I usually do but in this situation, not knowing how long its going to be till i see her again, i had to get her number or give her mine .and interrupting her to ask for her number while shes with a bunch of clients is just not possible. I also didn’t know when she will be done with the clients so assuming i wasn’t going to get a chance to speak to her again for another month, i decided to hand her my number discretely rather then take a chance and wait another month or 2 before i can be alone with her so i can ask for her number. Turned out she was done with her clients shortly after that. She came up to me and ask me to give her details of my trip for like 10 min. I felt like if i asked for her number then, it would make me seem anxious because i already told her to call me and gave her my number.

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 5:04 pm #193473

    “London told her a year ago that she thought I was cute and would totally go for me {if she was single}.”
    Does she still have a boyfriend? If she does the:
    “London said she might go too and we should meet up if we both go.” really means nothing.

    right after my coworker told me a mystery girl likes me a year ago, London broke up with her long term boyfriend, i knew she was single for awhile after that because that same coworker said after she broke up she said she is done dating for awhile. But this all happened a year ago and im not sure about her current status.

    I usually only get to talk to her for about a min or 2 at a time. I would love some advice on how to ask her about her relationship status with out coming across as inappropriate.

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 6:20 pm #193474

    Too much overthinking and theories about what London is or is not feeling. This is very simple. You like her and apparently want to explore getting to know her better. The issue is not whether you meet up in Scotland. It is about simply engaging her in conversation and seeing where it goes. From your narrative it is obvious she has some interest in you. What that interest is as a potential boy friend or just friend only time will tell. Life is complicated and if London texts you in 5 days, 10 days or 20 days is not important. If you want to get to know her better find a way to contact her and simply say hi. If I understand you writing she is a co-worker. I’m sure you are resourceful enough to find a way to contact her. Have fun!

    Weedle
    Weedle
    Participant
    January 26, 2019 at 11:18 am #193501

    I think there is too much overthinking as well best course of action would be just be yourself and of relationships come up in conversation ask about her but that all depends on if she contacts you later. As working adults we sometimes don’t have a lot of free time to respond and forget to as well when we do have free time. *looks at phone last call week ago last text 4 days ago* or sometimes you are just not the communication type.

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 26, 2019 at 5:05 pm #193513

    Yeah I am over thinking it, just got out of a relationship and found out a girl I use to like liked me too but a year ago lol.. maybe there was some miss communication and she thought I ment for her to text me once she found out about her vacation plans, who knows.

    Just sucks that I rarely see her and when I do she is usually with clients. She is kind of like a trainer so she is always training some clients and I have to go up behind her and whisper in her ear if the clients in front of her is busy with paperwork for a few min.

    Guess there no easy way around it. Maybe next time I see her I just have to be blunt and ask her if she has a man and if no, then go from there

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 27, 2019 at 7:24 am #193530
    Reply To: Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    Sorry to read that your previous relationship didn’t work out. What happened? IT is important to figure out if dating at this time is in your best interest. You might need a little time to reflect and learn why the last relationship didn’t work. Without doing this we run the risk of repeating the same thing over and over again. The reason for this is that YOU TAKE YOURSELF WITH YOU WHERE EVER YOU GO. Now I know a lot of people say the relationship didn’t work because the other person was this or that or did this or that. What you have to remember is that you selected and stayed with this person who was and did this and that.

    A hidden clue that you might not be ready just yet to jump into dating is embedded in your statement “Guess there no easy way around it. Maybe next time I see her I just have to be blunt and ask her if she has a man and if no, then go from there.” Why do you need to ask her if there is another man in her life? you are already creating the roadblock in your mind.

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 27, 2019 at 7:35 am #193531
    Reply To: Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    This is called anxiety, worry and or fear. We see this also when you share how it is so hard to find her and talk to her. Now you know that’s not completly true. If you really wanted to talk to her for a few seconds, get her phone number, or say I really need to talk to you for a few minutes what would be a good time, you would be able to find a way to do it. Another clue is you pushing another co-worker to tell you who the secret admirer was a year later.

    Kindly answer the following questions so I can better provide you relevant feed back.
    What is your relationship history?
    What happened in the last relationship that it ended?
    Why do you think you are so anxious about London?
    How do you feel about relationships with person where you work?

    I look forward to your responses and giving you more feed back.

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 27, 2019 at 9:11 pm #193538
    Reply To: Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    Well… last relationship ended because i felt like she wasn’t the one. I forced my self to go out with her because on paper she seems to be an ideal girlfriend. After about 1 month I realize I just did not have a lot of romantic feelings towards her.

    I think I’m so anxious about London is because 1 year ago we worked together more often and I liked her then but couldn’t do anything because she had a boyfriend. I almost asked her out because I thought she liked me too. So I got up the courage to ask her out and thought I better double check to see if she had a boyfriend before I do so I asked her and she said she did have a boyfriend.

    Now I find out I was right a year ago and she did like me so I’m anxious because I wanna ask her out and not mess it up this time. I feel like I let a good girl slip away from me

    • This reply was modified 7 months, 3 weeks ago by CuriousGuy CuriousGuy. Reason: Miss spell
    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 28, 2019 at 12:33 am #193541
    Reply To: Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    Thank you for sharing your history, thoughts and feelings. the past is the past, the future has not come yet and all we have to work with today is the present. Try not to over think this too much and consider the following:
    1. You know London is open to spending time with you because she suggested that if the two of you are in Scotland you should meet up.
    2. Find the opportunity to just say hi and continue to connect with her. If work is too challenging then just say something like “It’s always so hard to get a few minutes here at work to talk for a few minutes. Let’s get together for a cup of coffee. What would be a good time for you? You will learn a lot about London from her reaction.
    3. I would not come out and ask her if a boy friend is in the picture. Just focus on your connection and see what happens. If she has a serious boy friend you will find out fast enough.
    4. Just try to relax and take small steps that might lead to a date. This should help you relax a little. Have fun

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 28, 2019 at 5:27 am #193558
    Reply To: Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    It does help, thanks for all the advice. Everything you said makes sense. I will give it a shot… maybe I’m trying to do things too fast and should just take it slow. I feel like I wasted a year and i am trying so hard to hurry up and ask her out.

    Normally if I meet a girl at a bar/club I just ask then out. But with a coworker I will do what u said and take it slow and see if I can find a good reason to ask her out for coffee.

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 28, 2019 at 8:06 pm #193645
    Reply To: Found out a girl liked me a year ago. Need some advice

    Well, she texted me today. She told me her vacation was approved by corporate and she can meet me in Scotland. I texted back great, lets go out some where and plan the trip. hopefully she agrees to meet me

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