Friends or more?

DATING ADVICE FORUM

Friends or more?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
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    mhdr169
    mhdr169
    Participant
    July 2, 2018 at 1:49 pm #178589
    Friends or more?

    I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years. I am 22 and he is 26. We grew up in the same town, went to high school together, but he was a senior when I was a freshman, so we knew of each other but very rarely interacted and didn’t really know each other. Then 4 years ago, during the summer after my freshman year of college, he and I had the same summer job. We were both single at the time, but I was only 18. Looking back now, I can see he was definitely interested, but I was too immature and it was poor timing. At the end of the summer, I went back to college and he went to grad school. Our schools were 4 hours away so never saw each other until the next summer when we had the same job. He was in a relationship, I was single, but there was definitely still chemistry there. We got very close and at the end of the summer he told me he thought this was the beginning of a lifelong friendship. I saw him about 6-8 months later and he was dating someone new. continue in comments

    mhdr169
    mhdr169
    Participant
    July 2, 2018 at 1:56 pm #178590

    We spent the whole night talking and he kept saying this relationship with his girlfriend was “only temporary.” After that night, we didn’t see each other for over two years. During that time, he would occasionally text me, like once every couple of months, and we would have long conversations about anything and everything. All the while, he was still dating the same girl he had been the last time we saw each other. Then the summer of 2017, he randomly texted me and we had another typical conversation catching up on things. I had just started dating someone myself, so I told him that. I had also just graduated from my undergrad and told him I would be taking a year off before heading to the east coast for grad school (we’re from the Midwest). It was great to catch up with him. Then a week or two later, I see on Facebook that he just proposed to his girlfriend. He had never mentioned that when we talked before. I waited a couple days before congratulating him on his engagement….

    mhdr169
    mhdr169
    Participant
    July 3, 2018 at 7:23 am #178591

    After that, I didn’t hear from him at all. No more random texts. Then this spring, I accidentally texted him instead of a client of mine (their names are right next to each other in my phone). He responded and we texted back and forth all day. He asked me to let him know when I would be in town because he would be graduating from grad school and moving back to our hometown in May. We ended up getting supper together around Memorial Day, so a little over a month ago. He told me he broke off his engagement in December. We had a great time talking and felt just like old times. He asked me to hang out again that weekend, so we went on a double date with a married couple (his friends) that Saturday. Again, we had a great time, and he asked me to let him know when I’d be in town again. He texted me a few days later and I told him I’d be around the following week. We ended up getting lunch when I was in town and it went really well…….

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    July 3, 2018 at 2:36 pm #178647

    You’re just friends!
    Put your focus on meeting someone else who is (clearly) “into you” and will make sure (you) know it!
    Life is too short to be playing “cat and mouse” games. Grownups communicate and say what’s on their mind.

    mimikai
    mimikai
    Participant
    July 4, 2018 at 4:32 pm #178667

    yeah I agree, definitely just friends ~ or he wanted to keep u around just incase~ u will find someone better

    mia
    mia
    Participant
    July 5, 2018 at 12:00 pm #178684

    It sounds like friends