DatingAdvice Forum | gay man in straight marriage

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blondcityboy

Participant

February 19, 2013 at 3:30 pm #23062

gay man in straight marriage

Do gay men married ever really leave their wives? He claims he loves me and that he told his wife he is gay. I want to belive there is a chance with him as I really do love him but am I just wasting my time? Do they ever leave? I know he isn’t happy..

Anonymous

February 20, 2013 at 12:59 pm #23205

Are you sure you’re in “love?” How long have you been seeing him and sneaking behind his wife’s back? Sounds like you’re in a thrill-seeking adventure. Make sure you don’t just “love” someone for the temporary high. That’ll fizzle sooner than later if you aren’t there for the right reasons.

blondcityboy

Participant

February 21, 2013 at 9:04 am #23276

Yes, I am sure I am in love. We have been seeing each other for about six months. He lives about 100 miles away but stays over with a traveling job. He says he wants to come out but everything he has been taught, conflicts with coming out as a gay man. I grew up in a small town and old time Pentecostal so I have been where he is now.
I don’t think it’s just the thrill, I feel guilty for what I am doing to his family, but the way I feel with him, I’ve never felt before. I just don’t know what to do at this point. Part of me wants to break it off and tell him when he is available, call me. The other part, wants to hold him close and never let him leave.

Anonymous

February 21, 2013 at 12:30 pm #23364

I’m not quite convinced you’re in love. You rarely see him and it’s only been 6 months (that’s not very long at all). You might be REALLY interested but he’s not even giving you 100% of his time and attention.

I don’t see if very fair that he’s holding onto you with a small thread, you’re at arms reach and basically his back up plan. There’s no promises that he’ll commit to you if he breaks things off with his wife. You’re assuming everything will fall in your favor. I suggest finding a man who is out, comfortable with his life and his PAST relationships so you’re not a secret in theirs.

You’re settling. Don’t.

WiseOnWhiskey

Participant

February 22, 2013 at 12:11 pm #23487

I kind of agree with Clyde. You might be creating this fantasy idea in your mind and think this man will just leave everything for you. Being a part of an affair is not a clean cut scenario. You can easily find a man who will love you and only you but you’re choosing to take a half-ass opportunity and call it your own. That’s never a smart idea, especially if you’re looking for love, and not justa hookup. There’s no way you like explaining to any friends that you’re in this situation, it’s probably embarrassing to say: Oh yea my boyfriend is married but he says he loves me so I believe him. Like whaaa? Haha, don’t stick around to watch this “relationship” slap you in the face.

BlockBurger34

Participant

March 12, 2013 at 2:16 pm #25565

You’re really living in some dream buddy. You want to be there for him when he’s ready to come out but you’re only further damaging his relationship with his wife. Plus, that sounds like a situation ready to go south, real quick. Find someone you don’t have to start off as a long distance relationship.

uluvdj

Participant

December 7, 2015 at 12:17 am #89585

The reality is that it’s rare that straight men will ever leave there wives to pursue a gay relationship unless they’re pressured or forced out of the closet. They feel the need to uphold the image of a ‘man’ that has been defined by society. This is definitely not something u want to hold your breath on.