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jfes1688ParticipantAugust 16, 2019 at 11:20 pm #205594
I love my GF will all my heart…but she can’t seem to get over the fact that I smoke herb. Every 2 – 4 months we break up for a few days because of it.
From her own admission if she didn’t smell it in my clothes she wouldn’t know I was smoking. From her own admission she can’t name one specific way in which weed has negatively influenced my life. I never smoke around her, nor would I ever.
I know 100% she is the one I want to marry. We have great discourse, out of this world sex, have the same goals, like the same food / movies / music. Marijuana is the ONLY thing we ever argue about. She’s the only woman I’ve never even considered cheating on (in fact several of my exes call me or message me on FB regularly to ask if I want sex, “your GF won’t know”, but I always flatly refuse)
How do we come to a compromise on this? –> FYI I don’t just smoke to get high, I have specific medical purposes, not the least of which is that I’m recovering from a recent surgery.
FishingawayParticipantAugust 17, 2019 at 10:01 pm #205597
It appears that the marijuana is a problem for your gf and it always will be an issue for her. You said you have a lot in common which is good. The best advice I can give is to have very honest and upfront communication. Ask her if the marijuana is a deal breaker for marriage. You may be assuming her thoughts change, and she may be assuming you give up marijuana. Either way, it is good to address it and know for sure.
blackcat13ParticipantAugust 18, 2019 at 5:13 am #205604
You may be suited in every other way except your moral stance on marijuana use. Have you had a calm conversation about her concerns and your requirements. Relationships involve compromise, this may be something you need to practice?
faithdanielleParticipantAugust 18, 2019 at 10:26 am #205613
Try to speak to her about it and educate her! She’s nervous about your usage so try to make her feel comfortable about it!
FemaleFriends123ParticipantAugust 18, 2019 at 12:55 pm #205616
Looks to me that your girlfriend needs to be educated on the benefits of Medical Marijuana. If possible, it would be best if someone else talk to her about it and not you. If you talk to her about it, she’ll just think you’re trying to convince her for your benefit. But if you get someone else to do so, maybe she’d actually be enlightened. At the end of the day, if you need it, you need it. She needs to understand this.
Wintz89ParticipantAugust 18, 2019 at 6:05 pm #205619
You say you don’t smoke in front of her and it sounds like the big hang up is purely the smell. Honestly if that is the biggest part, try to pick and choose the most opportune time to smoke. It sounds like it is as simple as just basic hygiene. If you smoke, take a shower, change clothes, brush your teeth, just do something to mask or get rid of the smell even if you are nose blind to it.
jfes1688ParticipantAugust 18, 2019 at 11:35 pm #205625
To expand: I already asked her to marry me, she went from IDK you smoke, to YES! back to IDK, you smoke.
I was considering asking her to go to pre-marriage counseling so we can get a neutral 3rd party to mediate, but I don’t know what to look for, usually they don’t advertise expertise with medicine ect.
With just about all other things she’s completely logical, If we talk about a book, a politician, a scientific discovery she will consider all the facts and will change her mind if the argument is compelling enough, but with this she acts like a witch hunter.
i.e. me: Fact about marijuana
Her: That;s not true
Me: Here’s a scientific paper that proves what I said
Her: Well they only mean people who smoke occasionally
Me: No, it says in the abstract that it’s people who smoke daily
Union678ParticipantAugust 19, 2019 at 9:40 am #205630
With some peoples backgrounds this can be an absolute deal breaker. There is always concern on the impression this would have on future family members.
JoellaParticipantAugust 19, 2019 at 11:52 am #205636
I am torn about this subject. Part of me would like to say ‘talk about it, tell her all the ways you love her and explain to her that you are unable to stop for medicinal purposes. And explain that the stigma of marijuana has drastically changed over recent years and she really needs to advance her thinking’. But part of me is saying ‘hide it’ like they said up above, shower, change your clothes, or better yet-don’t smoke it, try gummies or baked goods.
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