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madmen10ParticipantMarch 30, 2015 at 10:18 pm #76321
So i have been happily in a relationship for over a year and have spoken to my gf about settling down and our future being together.
Last night she sat me down and told me that i needed to know something from her past so if it ever comes up i wont be shocked.
She proceeded to tell me that her brother pulled her aside and questioned whether she slept with a guy that we all know (we are closer to his brother and wife) and she did have a one night stand with him, despite “hooking up” here and there when they were younger. My gf is 24 and this happened when she was 19. She explained to me that they agreed to never talk about it ever again and obviously that wasn’t the case thus i should know.
My issue with this – firstly why is this guy bringing up the past? if her brother didn’t find out would she of ever told me? and also i know the guy and previously when i bump into him i actually get along with him…..
Continuing the story…
madmen10ParticipantMarch 30, 2015 at 10:26 pm #76322
I then asked my gf if there is anything else i should know while she is the bearer of bad news…….
She told me another guy she slept with that i know of.. a family friend that in the year we have been together i have met at weddings (3 times in total).. again i got along with him, we had things in common and this was all before i knew her…she was 20 yrs old. In total she says shes had sex with 4 people me (current bf) previous bf (dated him for 3 years) and these two guys once each.Note- not sure whether to believe this
My issue with this – during our relationship they continually liked photos of each other on social media, spoke at weddings and got along.. the fact that i was in the dark pisses me off a lot. The fact she put me in those situations and i actually befriended the person.. I feel more jealous and insecure as a result and i pride myself on never being that way…I’m lost on how to approach all of this. I also think this experience she did not have to tell me.
DontbeniceanymoreParticipantMarch 31, 2015 at 9:21 am #76332
She did something very brave, tell you about her past and that left her vulnerable.
What happened in the past before she knew you is water under the bridge, if she still communicates with them in social media it only means that they didn’t hurt her and broke her heart and even when it’s hard to believe it’s something to be thankful because it’s so hard to date a woman who has scars and trust issues with men just because a douchebag broke her heart, used her, and dumped her.
Granted you didn’t need to know, but now that you know you have two choices:
act like an insecure and jealous male,
or behave like the man she fall in love because she is with you, not with them but with you because you are much better than them, and that is something to brag about it -not aloud of course- so forget about it and move on, enjoy your relationship and be happy.
ecstasyevenings007ParticipantMarch 31, 2015 at 1:52 pm #76369
Thats all in the pass, before you. She’s with you now mate and loves you just keep doing what you have been doing and things will be fine. Sounds like a good honest girl. I wouldn’t worry to much about it mate and focus on the future with her.
AnonymousInactiveMarch 31, 2015 at 2:32 pm #76379
Yeh I agree with everyone above. What happened in the past needs to stay in the past, you can’t get mad or upset about something that happened when you didn’t even know each other or were not together.
Remember that she is with you for a reason and not with them anymore for a reason too, I know it can be hard but just try and forget about it, you don’t want to come across as insecure, just do your thing and show her why she is with you in your own way.
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