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Arsher123ParticipantSeptember 28, 2017 at 10:06 pm #150841
My new co-worker (a month and a half old in the job) is acting really rude towards me. She’s 23, comfortable around anybody, and laughs a lot. We kinda had a small attraction in the begining, she was taping me, asking for massages etc. But then she changed. Maybe was my fault, I made some unwanted comments about other girls when she was staring at their pictures on facebook (I unintentionally called them fat and big boobs, etc). And now she thinks I’m a piece of shit. We are only 5 workers, and everytime I make a comment she instanly shuts me up, says my opinion is unwanted, that she doesn’t care about me, etc. My reaction: I laugh (but the other guys start mocking me). She literally lost all respect she had towards me. She also insinuated that I’m weak man. I’m 28. She is feeling a couple levels superior to me. And has been like this for the past 2-3 weeks. I’m not in love with her, but I kinda like her and wish she was my friend again. How to gain more respect? Any girls advice ?
TreeLadyParticipantSeptember 29, 2017 at 3:31 pm #150980
Get clarification from her. Find a time to talk to her alone and ask her directly, “Are you treating me like this because of the comments I made?” If she says yes, then you follow up with, “I’m sorry if I offended you. Occasionally I say stupid things, like everyone else. I don’t like that it has affected our friendship.” If she says, “Okay, well that’s it then” or something like that then you can move on. If she acts like she’s still upset then you break out with, “Look, we have to work together here. What can I do to get past this?” If she responds with a rude comment, then just shrug and walk away. That’s on her. She will probably say “I don’t know” at which point you can say, “Well, I’m willing.” And leave it at that.
If, when you ask her about the comments, she says she has a different problem with you, the important thing to do is just listen. Let her get it off her chest. When she has finished telling you the problem just say that you will think about how to fix that.
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joe565ParticipantSeptember 30, 2017 at 1:29 am #151037
While the comments you made were inappropriate, it is just as inappropriate for her to make comments like that in front of other coworkers. I would just let her know that you are sorry if you upset her and would like to keep things civil, she isn’t going to befriend you immediately but at least if you get back to decent terms working together maybe down the road she’ll think differently.
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