Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

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Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

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    simplemann28
    simplemann28
    Participant
    January 23, 2019 at 2:27 pm #193261
    Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

    Hello Folks.in need of some help here.
    I have been seeing this women for about 6 weeks. We are both 30 and i am single and she is going through a divorce after being married for 4 year… no kids.
    When we go out we talk and laugh for hours when she comes over we kiss and laugh. When we go out with her friends she’s a little distant and cold but also she gets pulled in many directions, she has that type of personality. We used to text each other a lot…probably too much. Shes had to call a date early before because she had a friend that was leaving town and mixed up her dates. I had a dinner date with her last friday planned but she canceled 4 hours before because she was sick.now she doesnt initiate texts, she does respond to most of them very quickly though. i have read that giving someone space is very advantages and should be tried, perhaps i am coming on a bit strong. so my current plan is to not contact her till she gets back from chicago next week and ask her out again

    Correct?

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 23, 2019 at 7:22 pm #193294

    It would be helpful to have a little bit more information to assist you.
    1. During the past 6 weeks how often would you see this woman?
    2. How long has it been since she and her separated husband stopped living together?
    3. What do you mean when you say she has that type of personality?
    4. When you say she had to call a date early are you saying she left you to go see someone else? If yes, how do you feel about that?
    I look forward to reading your responses and providing you with some reflections.

    simplemann28
    simplemann28
    Participant
    January 23, 2019 at 7:52 pm #193295

    Shes the type of person everyone gravitates to, she moved out of her husbands place at the end o november. we would see each other 1-2 times per week. when she called the date early she went out with her friend who was out of town. i think i may be over thinking this…i really like this women and dont want to mess anything up…

    LJWentworth32
    LJWentworth32
    Participant
    January 23, 2019 at 10:39 pm #193306

    when do people go from dating just once per week to more? then 2 times a week. then being together typically?

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 8:46 am #193297

    There is nothing wrong with liking a woman. After all attraction is the starting point of any relationship. The question is the start of what kind of relationship? According to the information you provided these are the facts:
    1. This woman has been involved in a complicated marriage for 4 years.
    2. You started to date this woman 6 weeks ago just around the time she first separated and moved out of her home with her husband.
    3. When you would go out with her friends (who probably knew her husband as well) she acted distant and cold.
    4. She left you during a date and chose to be with someone else.
    Now I do not know this woman or your relationship history very well. However the intensity of 1-2 dates a week right when she moved out combined by her behavior indicates that this woman needs time to psychologically heal. The print is not even on the divorce and she barely moved out of the marital home. You are not overthinking this, you are under thinking this. Slow things down!

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 8:47 am #193301

    Slow things down

    simplemann28
    simplemann28
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 8:47 am #193307

    wish i had the answer…

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 8:47 am #193312

    Each relationship moves at its own speed. However the question is in what direction?

    simplemann28
    simplemann28
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 6:18 pm #193389

    GL… how should i slow down….any suggestions?

    CuriousGuy
    CuriousGuy
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 7:25 pm #193391
    Reply To: Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

    You might not want to hear this but this exact situation just happen to me,,,,,.

    A girl i was dating for 6 weeks was going to England. Things started to slow about 2 weeks before she left

    After she went to England, it slowed down a lot so i slowed down too to the point where i just stopped texting her 3 weeks before she came back. I had decided to end it with her.

    When she came back, she didn’t call me right away but called like 3 days later and said she was sick, thats why she didn’t call me right away. I found that reason to be BS so i acted uninterested and told her to call me next week because i was busy this week. She never called back

    Come to find out she was seen with another dude soon after that. And from the description, it MIGHT be this dude she met though a friend while we were dating.

    So not sure if its the same buy but if it is, its probably safe to say she was seeing both of us at the same time and my choosing to end it with her was the right thing to do.

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 24, 2019 at 10:18 pm #193392
    Reply To: Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

    The way to slow things down is to get in touch with your feelings, thoughts, and fantasies about this relationship. This woman just left her husband of four years of marriage and needs time before she jumps into another committed relationship. Dating is about learning about the other person and about yourself too. It takes time to get past the honeymoon stage and see things for what they really are. In time the dating experience might lead to exclusive dating where the two people agree not to see anyone else or the realization that this relationship is not going to work. Consider the following:
    1. Realize this woman is not ready for another committed relationship at this time. She may or may not know this and look for a rebound relationship to cushion the pain of her separation.
    2. Date the woman if you want. However date her and date other women as well for a while.
    3. Ask yourself why am I attracted to and pursuing a woman who is not emotionally available for a relationship?
    Yes!

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 25, 2019 at 12:14 pm #193417
    Reply To: Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

    If she just moved out of her husband’s place two months ago and you have been dating for 1 1/2 months…
    Odds are she is in no hurry jump right back into a serious relationship while preparing to go through a divorce.
    Most newly divorced people want to enjoy their newfound freedom and get back in touch with their personal goals.
    Sometimes they will immediately see someone to boost their confidence but they’re not ready for anything serious.
    This is one of the reasons why people generally advise you not to be the “rebound” person.

    Since you are not in a “relationship” you should be keeping your options open by dating other women.
    For all you know she may be dating other guys who just want to have some “fun” rather than fall in love.
    Placing too much focus on her while she’s going through a divorce may cause her to distance herself from you.

    The reason she acts cold when she’s with her friends is because she doesn’t want them thinking you’re a couple.

    GJ
    GJ
    Participant
    January 26, 2019 at 10:42 am #193498
    Reply To: Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

    The way to slow things down is to get in touch with your feelings, thoughts, and fantasies about this relationship. This woman just left her husband of four years of marriage and needs time before she jumps into another committed relationship. Dating is about learning about the other person and about yourself too. It takes time to get past the honeymoon stage and see things for what they really are. In time the dating experience might lead to exclusive dating where the two people agree not to see anyone else or the realization that this relationship is not going to work. Consider the following:
    1. Realize this woman is not ready for another committed relationship at this time. She may or may not know this and look for a rebound relationship to cushion the pain of her separation.
    2. Date the woman if you want. However date her and date other women as well for a while.
    3. Ask yourself why am I attracted to and pursuing a woman who is not emotionally available for a relationship?
    Yes!

    Olivia_daviss
    Olivia_daviss
    Participant
    February 9, 2019 at 3:36 pm #194542
    Reply To: Girl i have been seeing is being distant…HELP

    Most important is do you want her?
    If so give her time try not to come across as needy but make sure she can tell you are interested she may just want to make sure you are the right person