Girl I truly love isn't allowed to date. Please Answer ASAP! :(


Girl I truly love isn't allowed to date. Please Answer ASAP! :(

  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    June 6, 2018 at 7:45 am FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

    Hey forum readers! Just a quick heads up that a few dating sites are offering a FREE trial to DatingAdvice forum readers. Try it now and meet local singles in just a few minutes! Here are the sites:

    Site Who You'll Meet Today's Deal Casual dating for ages 18-65 Get FREE access
    Elite Singles Educated professionals 25 and older Get FREE access Hookups, casual encounters Get FREE access

    What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!

    March 9, 2013 at 7:39 pm #25379
    Girl I truly love isn't allowed to date. Please Answer ASAP! :(

    For the first time in my life, I’ve felt something that struck me harder than anything before. It’s felt more powerful than lust, desire, and greed. I discovered true love for the first time in my life. I’ve had the feelings of commitment, devotion, and personal morales. I don’t want to be partnered with this person because I feel that I’m sexually attracted to them. Rather, I’ve felt the opposite. I’ve felt the tingling sensation, the daydreaming, the loss of appetite, and the whole nine yards.

    What recently upset me is that the person who I want to commit with all the way isn’t allowed to go out. I fear that if I wait too long other guys will go after her with wrong intentions. I don’t want to miss out on something like this in my life. I’ve never felt something so strong before and to just lose it would break me.

    Im fairly intelligent, make good grades in school, occasionally exercise, play baseball, devote myself to jazz music, musically bonded, play the trumpet, and always strive for something better. On the downside, I come from a low income family with a low family budget. I don’t own a phone, we don’t own a family vehicle, we don’t own a house, or have any major fashionable possession. The only thing I really have at my disposal is the internet and a microphone, and what good is that with someone in my position?

    In my life, my goal is to bind myself with musical talents, technically educate myself, and live life as an intellectual being. I just don’t think I have much chance due to the popularity of other individuals.
    I say to myself, “What are my chances to being with this person who isn’t allowed to date?” “She would probably rather go date the rest of the alpha male football/basketball group of males anyway”.

    That has been my mentality for a while now. Nevertheless, I am optimistic and ambitious for any alternatives that someone could provide for me. It would be very much appreciated.

    March 10, 2013 at 3:29 am #25384

    Well, if she’s is not interested in dating you it really doesn’t matter if she is allowed to date or not, does it? And it sounds like you’re not even sure if she is interested. Anyway, if you are attending school with this person then you should have ample opportunities to strike up a conversation with her and see if you have a real report or even some chemistry brewing. If you get to the point where you can talk and laugh freely together then there is a fair chance that she might want to date you. Also the fact of the matter is if she really wants to go out with a guy she will find a way. When I was your age I worked with this really sweet and beautiful girl who had extremely strict controlling parents and she was strictly forbidden from dating and I felt about her the way you feel about your girl. Anyway, although I was terribly shy and introverted back then I knew she liked me so I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out. When I called her the next day she wanted to sneak out for a date and tell her parents that she was with a girlfriend but, stupid, me I told her I’d rather she get her parents permission. Anyway she tried and I found out the next day from the other girls at work that when she did her father actually called her a slut and other horrible names that I cant repeat here, all because she wanted to go on a date with a boy for the first time at 16 years of age. Anyway we never really spoke again after that and I don’t think she ever forgave me for getting her in trouble. Heck I never really forgave myself. The point is that if a girl, even a very sheltered and innocent girl, really wants to date she will find a way to do it for the right guy. Also, any parents who are that insanely controlling deserve to be lied to (don’t forget that).
    Anyway it sounds like you are pining for a girl who doesn’t even know you’re alive so I’m going to give you some advice. While its great that you want to educate yourself and live as an “intellectual being” if you want to get girls you need to work first an foremost on being able to communicate in a relaxed, assertive, and lighthearted manner to them. In other words you need to work on your socialization skills. Girls like guys that take charge and they also like guys that can make them laugh. And I have a feeling your girl isn’t likely to go for the brooding artist/intellectual type. Unfortunately beautiful girls sometimes also like to date jerks, but why would you want to date a girl who has so little self respect that she wants to date jerks? Anyway when I was in High School I was terrified to talk to women but now I strike up conversations with strange beautiful women all the time and I always get them to laugh and get them interested so there is always hope for you. Also believe it or not you are going to feel exactly the same way you feel about this girl with many, many, many, others over the course of your lifetime – translation, there are lots of fish in the sea.