Girl Kept Flaking on Me; Did I Handle This the Right Way?

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Girl Kept Flaking on Me; Did I Handle This the Right Way?

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
    DatingAdvice.com
    June 6, 2019 at 3:52 pm FORUM ANNOUNCEMENT

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    bullschamp180
    bullschamp180
    Participant
    March 11, 2019 at 2:49 am #196331
    Girl Kept Flaking on Me; Did I Handle This the Right Way?

    So I was texting this girl that I hit up on snapchat for about a month and a half. I did not know this girl IRL, I just had her on snapchat and thought she was cute so i hit her up and we started talking. We texted for about 2 weeks, and it was going very well with her responding in less than 5 minutes each time, and investing in the conversations. She would even randomly hit me up when i wasnt in contact with her and ask what I was up to, how my day was, etc. After those two weeks, I asked her out so we could meet in person and she said she would love to and agreed to go out with me the following friday. That week went by and I sent a confirmation text on tuesday to see if we were still on for friday. She said that she had movie night with her friends scheduled for that night that she had forgotten about, and friday wasnt going to work. My two cents told me that this was horse shit but I decided to use the “three strikes(flakes/cancellations) and your out” method. Strike 1.

    bullschamp180
    bullschamp180
    Participant
    March 11, 2019 at 8:42 am #196332

    I suggested that we reschedule for thursday, and she said that would work. The next day on wednesday, I sent her a text with the goal of setting up a time for thursday, and she said that it wasnt going to work after all, but did not give me a direct reason. Strike 2. She immediately apologized and said she wanted to reschedule for the following friday of the coming week. I agreed and suggested we meet at 6 PM, and she agreed. I thought that this was a positive sign of interest, as we now had a set time that we agreed on. That week rolled by, and all seemed great until thursday, the day before we were supposed to go out, she texted me at 4 AM and said that she couldnt make it friday because she had plans to go bowling with her family that night. Strike 3. I immediately knew that this was bullshit, as who remembers family plans at four in the morning? Her three strikes were up, so I decided to draw the line and make my stance on the matter clear.

    bullschamp180
    bullschamp180
    Participant
    March 11, 2019 at 8:42 am #196333

    She then tried to justify her flaky and selfish actions by saying that her family comes first, and she will choose them over somebody she has never met before. This was all a giant red flag as it is, but the final nail in the coffin for me was later that friday night, the night were supposed to go out she posted a picture with herself and another guy at the movies. This proved that her reason to flake on me was a blatant bullshit lie, and I was done at that point. I called her out on her unethical actions and then cut contact.

    bullschamp180
    bullschamp180
    Participant
    March 11, 2019 at 8:42 am #196334

    I know that was long, but now my question is: Did I handle this situation correctly? Was there a better way I could’ve handled this ordeal in order to possibly salvage it or prevent what happened from happening so I can avoid this nonsense in the future? I know that I have already blown my chances with this chick and I’m moving on but I would like to use this as a learning experience for future encounters.

    Thank you

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    March 11, 2019 at 6:29 pm #196464

    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!

    The best way to avoid a similar situation is to throw out the 3 strikes rule.
    If you ask a girl out and she says “no” without offering YOU an alternative day assume she’s not interested.
    When two people have the same desire to be with each other THEY make it happen.

    Secondly if you’re not in an exclusive relationship you should be pursuing MULTIPLE women for dates.
    Focusing in on only one girl just causes you to become too emotionally invested too soon.

    Calling someone out on their B.S. is just an ego exercise for yourself.
    It’s almost as bad as those losers who chase after someone for “ghosting” them looking for “closure” after one or two dates!
    Forcing someone to say NO ten different ways before moving on is self-torture.
    Worst case scenario it makes you seem desperate or possibly a fatal attraction/stalker.
    These days if a woman isn’t meeting you half way assume she’s not interested.
    Best wishes!

    liberty-john
    liberty-john
    Participant
    March 12, 2019 at 7:30 am #196482

    It seems like you wanted to go out with her more than you wanted to take yourself out on a date, so to speak.

    Like she was a heavy object that you had to ‘move’ in order for the date to continue.

    Here are two action items:

    If you start by appreciating what you have going for you – things that actually make you happy – and compare the good thing to when you didn’t have it, it will most likely make a world of a difference for you.

    For me, this was a car that broke down, but I fixed it. And it’s a huge difference in day to day life. So I try to appreciate it, actively.

    For you, it might be a degree that you just got, or a basketball game that went well, or teammates that did great things.

    Starting with appreciation opened up a new playing field altogether.

    After you see the difference, then ask what you would like to enjoy doing on a date. And normalize that.