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What are you waiting for? One mouse click could be all that stands between you and your next romance!February 27, 2020 at 5:35 pm #230605
So, here’s my situation (gonna need several posts to fully explain everything):
There’s this girl who I’ve been FB friends with for a year and several months now who I’m kinda infatuated with. The posts I’ve seen of hers have led me to believe that she’s a really interesting person, and I would love to have the chance to get to know her better.
A little background: I met her in late ‘18 at a Halloween party, and was immediately attracted to her. We had a pleasant enough interaction, but we didn’t get deep into conversation or anything. She really spent most of the time talking with her best friend, who she’d come with. I friended her on FB a few weeks later; even though we had had only limited in-person communication, she accepted my friend request pretty quickly. I later saw her at a Super Bowl party in early ‘19, but we didn’t talk at all, even briefly…February 27, 2020 at 5:36 pm #230606
This was partly because I was too chicken to even say hi (I kinda clammed up when she arrived), but she didn’t say anything to me either, sticking close to the best friend and another friend of hers for most of the time. Given her behavior those two times, I get the sense that she’s a bit situationally shy and is not real good at readily conversing with people she doesn’t know well, especially at large gatherings. At least, I hope it’s just that and not that something about me turned her off. 😉 Anyway, I haven’t seen her in person since, and we hadn’t talked or interacted on FB this whole time.
Until a couple weeks ago, that is. I saw she had started a little graphic design outfit, which she had invited all her friends to like. I did, and a few days later, I liked a post with some work she had done for an up-and-coming rock singer, and then commented and told her that I liked her designs and also the songs by the artist that I had listened to…
dashingscorpioParticipantFebruary 27, 2020 at 6:05 pm #230615
“I later saw her at a Super Bowl party in early ‘19, but we didn’t talk at all,…”
“This was partly because I was too chicken to even say hi…”
“I get the sense that she’s a bit situationally shy and is not real good at readily conversing with people…”
Based upon your own admission it doesn’t exactly sound like you’re a “social butterfly” either!
Most girls/women do not make the “first move” or hit on guys.
The guys of today are so afraid of being rejected they want women to post a sign of their interest in them on their forehead.
Ultimately if you’re romantically interested in someone you have to be willing to take a risk of being rejected.
You’ve really have nothing to lose by inviting her to go out.
It’s not as if you run in the same circles either.
In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: Next!February 28, 2020 at 6:58 am #230607
I was hoping to get her to say a little something in response that might have even led to a discussion via messenger. Unfortunately, she just thanked me and that was it. I haven’t liked or commented on any posts or stories of hers since. I’m thinking she had probably forgotten about me between the SB party and now, and I guess at the very least, that little interaction reminded her that I exist, hahaha. But yeah, I’m trying to figure out whether it’s even worth pursuing anything with this girl. If so, I guess it’s going to be a matter of playing the long game: just liking and commenting on more of her posts and stories and kind of softening the ground for an eventual messenger conversation.
And in case you were wondering, yes, her relationship status on FB is single. It has been the whole time I’ve been friends with her…February 28, 2020 at 6:58 am #230608
What do you guys think? Am I barking up the wrong tree, or should I give it a shot? (To say I’ve never been real good at this is an understatement: I only had one girlfriend, back in high school, and am in my late 30’s now, if you can believe that.)
Thanks for your replies.February 28, 2020 at 6:58 am #230621
Well, I don’t generally have a problem conversing with others in those situations, unless it’s a girl I’m attracted to! It’s that damn fear of rejection or being seen as a creep, hahaha.
PigeonParticipantMarch 5, 2020 at 9:43 pm #230964
Being FB friends with someone doesn’t mean she likes you. It means that she probably thinks you’re already stalking her a bit. She was being polite by accepting the request. If anything it would’ve been weirder for her to decline it and then get a message from you asking why.
If you’re not in her general social circle then you need to directly message her. You cant be playing the like and comment game. She’s not going to put her feelings out there for everyone to see.
If you know you have something in common maybe ask her a question about it, or straight up be like, oh hey I heard you like “blank” I do too, whats your favorite thing about it? Then hopefully youll start a conversation.
If she doesn’t want to hold onto the conversation for more than a few texts back and forth, then shes not into you. If she was, she would make the time to respond at some point. If she doesn’t respond without a question, then that’s pretty normal, most girls don’t like to lead conversations.
datingstudentParticipantMarch 6, 2020 at 3:37 am #230967
Honestly I think your situation is a real tough one.
When I was in your position for a year and a half I put the girl that I liked on a “pedestal” thinking she was everything I would ever want. I got lucky and saw her real personality in another scenario. Point is I feel like you have imagined a lot of stuff during this year about how you two would be the perfect couple or match so well… You might be paralized when you see her because of how important you’ve made her in your head.
Now you could just let it go but at this point it might be too important for you. Grab all your courage and try, fail quick, get sad and then better. Because you have the rest of your life to care for someone that can actually appreciate you.
PigeonParticipantMarch 6, 2020 at 6:45 am #230965
You could even be straight about it. “Hey I know we haven’t talked much but would you want to meet up sometime?” If that doesn’t work, then she most definitely is not into you, and you should just move on.
It sounds like you crushed on a girl that barely notices you exist and you’re at the point of breaking down to know if she feels the same.
Its a bit weird that you waited so long to even think about messaging her directly. You probably missed your chance, it would be kind of creepy to do it out of the blue now. She would have to be really into you for it to work.
Not saying alls lost, but best bet, don’t keep wasting your time obsessing over someone you barely know. Believe me. Taking the time to calculate the perfect move does not work. Shes either likes you or doesn’t.
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