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TWINCITYDEZRAYParticipantJune 5, 2014 at 7:48 pm #54649
I’ll try to keep this short so people will read all of it…here goes.(I’d like responses from women at least 21 or older please)… I’m pretty disgusted with the fact that a vast majority of women either refuse to approach guys or rarely ever do it. I personally WILL NOT approach women because they WILL NOT approach guys. Why do they deserve my time if they aren’t willing to do it themselves? Why should I risk rejection (which happens more often than not), when she isn’t willing to do the same thing? Now I’ll list the wrong answers that women like to throw at men, basically shaming men and taking the responsibility off themselves.
WRONG ANSWER #1 : MAN UP
LMFAO are you serious? So because I have male genitalia it’s predetermined that I HAVE to approach you? How much sense does that make? Yes I get it that men can have more aggressive natures but striking up a conversation with someone you’re attracted to can be done by EITHER SEX.
WRONG ANSWER #2 : IT’S TRADITION
Sorry but its 2014
JenniferParticipantJune 9, 2014 at 8:50 am #54740
Whether it sounds antiquated or not, we have cultural norms, and men asking women out is one of them. Try having to be a women and having cultural norms of being worthless based on your gender and being paid less than men, etc, etc, etc. Then being forced to ask women out doesn’t seem so bad.
My thoughts are that you are probably just frustrated from being constantly rejected. If you could ask girls out and be successful, I bet it wouldn’t seem so bad – in fact, it puts you in total control. The trick is to do it right, and that means getting to know a girl, what she wants, and whether she likes you BEFORE you ask her out.There are many ways to do this – ask her friends, pick up on her body language, and read advice from sites like this one. Also, you should be aware that women often reject men even when they like them. Weird, I know.
Lastly, what you may mean is “I WANT SEX AND WOMEN SHOULD MAKE IT EASIER.” Not going to happen, sorry. You need to do some work.
JenniferParticipantJune 9, 2014 at 8:50 am #54743
It’s just a cultural norm. I know it sucks, but when you consider that women have cultural norms of being discriminated against based on the fact that they are a woman, then having to ask the girl out doesn’t seem so bad.
If you started having more success with girls, then I bet it wouldn’t seem so bad to be the one that has to make the first move. In fact, it puts you in control. The trick is to do it right, and that means getting to know the girl, what she wants, and whether she likes you BEFORE asking her out. That can be done easily by following body language, asking her friends, or from sites like this. Also, keep in mind some girls reject guys that then like too. Weird, I know.
Finally, make sure you don’t just mean “I want sex, and women should make it easier.” Don’t expect girls to just jump at you without showing that you’re a gentleman and that you’ll treat her right. I think that’s the main reason I don’t ask guys out – they take it as an open invite for sex. Be real.
dancermdhParticipantJune 10, 2014 at 7:20 pm #55038
At least for me, I was raised to believe that men should always initiate. But I do have to agree with you, it is 2014 and the dating scene is definitely different than what it used to be. But I also believe that if a guy was truly interested, he would initiate and show interest.December 23, 2014 at 8:02 am #69556
seriously I hate how life, society, has all of these rules on what seperates boys from menDecember 23, 2014 at 8:02 am #69555
ya tell me about it, whenever another fellow guy, man tells me to grow a pair, grow some balls, man up, be a man, I feel like punching his lights out
Squiggy2ParticipantDecember 30, 2014 at 5:26 pm #69747
blame it on the advice females are given that say it’s better to be chased than chase the guy? ive told a guy i liked him before and unfortunately for me (at the time) he wasn’t interested. we still talk, but i have gotten over him.December 31, 2014 at 3:19 pm #69764
have there been any successful relationships that were initiated by the woman? in which the woman approached the man first, striked up a conversation with him first, asked him out? because I hear debates, arguments from people saying that relationships won’t be as good or last as long, are doomed for failure if the woman is the initiator, as in goes after the man first
elena_j1988ParticipantJanuary 6, 2015 at 2:07 pm #69962
Honestly, most of us have been raised to think that men asking women out is the social norm. Women like the idea of being pursued and having the men take initiative. We’ve been taught, and yes I’m quoting He’s Just Not That Into You, that if a man likes you he will make it happen. So most women, with the intent of having self respect, will wait for the man to ask us out and make the effort.
I do know women that have asked men out and taken the initiative, though it is rare. For me personally, if I like a guy and I get good vibes I may ask him to hang out in a casual, friendly way and hope for the best. But personally I would be afraid of coming off a certain way if I asked a guy out directly.
FreeSpirit2015ParticipantJanuary 6, 2015 at 6:12 pm #69986
As is suggested above, this is largely a cultural norm. Whenever I’ve considered asking a guy out, I’ve stopped myself – convincing myself it’s a sign of weakness/desperation. However, I do have plenty of female friends who have no qualms about asking a man out, so this isn’t quite as clear cut as women never asking men out. Unfortunately, largely due to societal expectations (yes, it’s 2015, but certain gender ideals continue to flourish), many women still feel it is a subversion of the stereotypical female character to ask a man out. We are still, to a certain degree, expected to be wallflowers – a notion which is perpetuated in films and TV programmes.
wannyxoxoParticipantJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:28 am #70384
I’m a girl, 23 years old. And personally, i dont really care about the “guys HAVE TO ask a girl out” mindset. It all depends on your confidence, doesnt matter who initiates it first, really. Of course, I do not ask a guy out the moment they talked to me lol. I tried to get to know him better for a lil bit, see if we both really do click, and if we do, i’ll probably ask him out for a drink, casual hang out, dinner, anything pleasant that comes to mind. And so far, i’ve never received any rejections or whatsoever. We had a great time and enjoyed each other’s company. However, this doesn’t mean that i ALWAYS asked the guy out, hahaa, sometimes its the other way round too. My point, it doesn’t really matter who initiates it. The tradition is dead. Well, at least for me 🙂
incognitoGirlParticipantJanuary 13, 2015 at 12:15 pm #70421
Well you want an opinion, so here’s mine.
Personally i have anxiety, i fear if i’m interested in a guy i would get rejected but personally ive never gone up to a guy to ask him out or tell him i’m interested, i have told someone i liked them first before they told me. Honestly girls just like a dominate guy who knows what he wants, and it shows he’s a MAN? i know that sounds stupid, but it’s the obvious truthJanuary 21, 2015 at 7:28 pm #71381
sometimes i’m bitter about women because of this social dynamic, gender role, and jealous of women, because women are far less likely than men are to being late bloomers in dating and relationships because women are on the receiving end of dating requests, sexual attention, and the fact they are valued for their youth more than men are.
redpoppyParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 6:09 pm #71809
Well, in my case, the guy does definitely not “have to” be the one to ask me out, but it’s really hard for me to do it because I’m not confident enough. I do text guys I like from time to time, ’cause I don’t want him to think that I don’t care about them at all, but I cannot really go beyond that. I know it’s not fair, but it’s not really a “society issue” for me, just a confidence one. I have female friends who refuse to ask guys out and expect and want to be chased, but I think having this behaviour as a “rule” is kinda stupid :/
Spelunker11ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 6:56 pm #71813
I did once and it didn’t work out. So yes, I’ll admit I’m a coward. Also, I don’t trust my judgment of character; the guy who turned me down turned out to be a douche anyway. I didn’t really like the first guy I dated initially but it turned out well.
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