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drummergirlParticipantOctober 16, 2013 at 7:36 pm #41344
So I met a guy online and we’ve been talking for a couple weeks. Conversation has been great and we’ve been talking about setting a time to meet in person for the first time. He is the one who initiated the idea. As we’re messaging about possibilities he brings up that we should probably plan on going dutch on the first meeting.
Is it just me or is it a little weird that he felt the need to bring it up before we even have a date set? I don’t automatically expect a guy to pay and will almost always offer to split the bill, but usually the topic doesn’t get brought up until you’re actually on the date. And especially not before a first date. We were talking about meeting for lunch or dinner at an average restaurant – nothing extravagant.
Is he being cheap? Pragmatic? Or just plain awkward? Is this a red flag or am I reading too much into it?
I’m wondering if I should bother to go through with meeting him or not. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
HappyGreenEyesParticipantOctober 17, 2013 at 10:02 pm #41421
He may be laying it out there before the date so you don’t have any awkward expectations of him paying for everything on the actual date? Give him a shot…I know a lot of guys go dutch on the first date. Now if this keeps happening over and over, we’ll have to revisit the issue. 😉
greyflowers113ParticipantOctober 20, 2013 at 1:25 pm #41465
At least he is able to pay for his own meal. There have been multiple first dates I have been on that I was left with the bill. He mighr of had a issue before with that. Ungrateful women just looking for a free meal. Lol
joefrommauiParticipantNovember 4, 2013 at 2:58 am #42391
Sorting out who pays can be complicated because some women expect the guy to pay for both while other women are insulted when a guy offers to pay for both. Also it probably is easier to make a decision before the date so maybe he is just trying to communicate things beforehand. I would definitely not use this as a deal breaker if there are good qualities you find in him already. You will learn over time if he is cheap or not. I think it is a pretty low risk and high reward situation to go dutch.
Another thought is if a guy is trying to date different people to see who he clicks well with and he pays for both people on all dates, that can add up fast. A nice dinner and a movie for two can easily add up to $100. If a guy goes on 1-2 dates per week, that can get quite expensive, especially when some women may be just taking advantage of a free night out.
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