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homebynowParticipantJanuary 14, 2015 at 12:15 am #70543
I have been on three dates with this guy I met online over a month. Each time we have a great time, but he never follows up or takes some prodding to follow up. When he does get the (flirty, low-key) prodding from me, he asks me out, follows through, and we have a fabulous and long date after which he asks me to text him when I get home. On the last and third date he kissed me briefly, and on each date spent a lot of money on the date. I haven’t heard from him in more than a week and I don’t want to prod anymore. What gives? Something going on in his life? Is he just killing time when he dates me? Why does he never make the effort after the date but then reacts so positively when I suggest he asks me out, and follows through for the date, and then have such a great time on the date? This is a first for me!
HVW_MarkParticipantJanuary 14, 2015 at 4:26 am #70545
Deal with this a bit with client. It’s not cut and dry but most likely, to me, he has self-esteem issues. Really likes you, but in no way will risk taking it further if you dont give every indication and practically fed-ex him a court-order to do so. The fact he hasn’t even tried to make a move on you yet has spent a bunch of money also fits this theory.
Other less likely possibilities
– There is another girl
– He’s unsure about his feelings
But I really think it’s option A.
I dont know what you can do other than keep giving minor prods and getting him to keep making moves. Maybe once he gets more comfortable you like him he’ll be more ballsy with it.. right now I think he’s waiting for you and just doesn’t have the courage to take the forward/masculine role.
If you really like him, give him a few more dates to see if he gets it through his head that you actually like him. After that, find a ballsier guy.
opportunity seekerParticipantJanuary 17, 2015 at 11:01 am #71195
I agree with HVW_Mark, typical sign of self-esteem issues. Wait some more days without taking action and if he doesnt call anymore, move on.
You do not want throughout your whole relationship to be asking for things. It should come naturally.
Hope all will work out
ConverseParticipantJanuary 18, 2015 at 1:08 pm #71213
Maybe try one more time. And this time consider making the move. I know it seems like a bit of a big step but I’m someone who appreciates this. I’m still young but the number of girls I’ve missed out on because I just couldn’t bring myself to make a move, it took one to just make it totally obvious, make the move and we were golden, had a really nice time and saw each other for a while. In the end it stopped because -guess what- I’d waited too long (try 4 years) and she realised that her feelings weren’t what they used to be. If you really like him, give him the benefit of the doubt, make a move, make it obvious, make him COMFORTABLE, because otherwise you’ll never know and you could both miss out. I’m fine when I’m in a relationship: relaxed, natural etc. but it’s still such a big hurdle for me- one I’m still trying to overcome. Once the barrier’s gone, you might find that everything just slots into place. If it doesn’t, then at least you’ll know.
GG420ParticipantJanuary 20, 2015 at 3:07 am #71268
I personally think it might because there might be another girl involved. Thats just my 2 cents 😛
CannokaParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 11:26 am #71798
It could be confidence issues, it could be he has other girls on the side. Never assume you are the only one. If he keeps up this behavior, then just look for someone else who is more reliable.
tc55548ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 2:14 pm #71800
I suspect confidence issues as well. I know for me personally, I’m a guy and I don’t like dating. I go on first dates and have a good time but don’t ask for the second date right away. I find that when girls text me it tells me that they are invested and is a signal for me to make a next move. I think this depends on the guy though but that’s my 2 cents.
beachxbum718ParticipantJanuary 25, 2015 at 4:47 pm #71807
Possibly try one more time with him, and make a joke of it. Such as, how come you never initiate taking me out on dates! Make it light and funny. Maybe there is good reason behind it, maybe it is self-esteem or maybe he is keeping his options open, and there are other women. This doesn’t mean he’s not into you, it’s called dating around. Good luck!
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