Guy friend is confusing me

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Guy friend is confusing me

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    jet8419
    jet8419
    Participant
    December 24, 2018 at 4:04 am #191647
    Guy friend is confusing me

    I have a guy friend that I’ve known for 10 years and we catch up occasionally over dinner or brunch outside. I recently went to his apartment for the first time to drop off something at his place and that was fine. 2 weeks later, I had to to pick up some stuff from his apartment and during our conversation this time, he said out of the blue “I was thinking of you the other day when I was in the shower, and wished you were here with me while I was touching myself” before talking about other random stuff. When I later mentioned about a broken device at home, he offered to fix it for me provided I “buy him dinner”. After a while, he said he had to change his clothes and started changing in front of me (only kept his undies on) which he’s never done before. When I left his place, he gave me a hug before pulling me back to kiss my cheek and hugged me again very tightly. I can’t tell if he likes me more than a friend but his actions that day were very abnormal… how should I interpret this?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 24, 2018 at 12:41 pm #191655

    He said, ‘I was in the shower, and wished you were here with me while I was touching myself’

    You said: ” I can’t tell if he likes me more than a friend….etc.”

    Can you imagine if you told a guy you were thinking about him and touching yourself in the shower?
    Undressing right in front of him, hugging him tight while kissing him on the cheek….etc
    And then he walks out “confused” asking folks if you want more than friendship from him…

    Seriously????

    Does he have to come right out and tell you he wants to jump your bones?
    Clearly he does not see you as simply being a “platonic” friend similar to being a sibling.
    He’s had sex with you (in his mind) and wants to make it a reality.

    The real question is : Are you attracted to him and would want to explore something more than friendship?

    If the answer is no, shut him down and tell him never to behave that way around you again and leave.

    jet8419
    jet8419
    Participant
    January 1, 2019 at 5:57 am #191793

    Well, he has previously given me mixed signals, so I don’t want to make myself look like a fool again. I texted him a day after I left his place to say I’ll buy him dinner if he really wanted to help me with fixing the broken gadget, and he agreed to it, and even became enthusiastic on explaining what tools will be needed etc. Yet when it came to arranging an actual day to fix it once I got the tools ready, he suddenly became vague and didn’t reply my texts twice to confirm which day he could do it, but in between he answered my text on a different topic, and sent a Merry Xmas text on Xmas day (which he’d never done before). I am just about to text him I’ll not bother him with the gadget and will get a tradesman to fix it since he seems to be busy, or should I ask him for the last time?

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    January 1, 2019 at 10:06 pm #191803

    This guy has no interest in fixing your gadget.
    He’s too immature to hit on you directly for fear of rejection.
    If you’re not romantically interested in him move on.
    If you don’t want to date him you’re apparently going to have to ask him out.

    After 10 years of knowing someone you should know if you are romantically interested in them.
    Be honest with yourself.