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lovelies25ParticipantMay 9, 2015 at 7:53 pm #78682
I had a mutual “like” on Okcupid with this guy that looked great (just my type physically, similar backgrounds, a lot of common interests), so instead of waiting around I decided to be proactive and message him. I assumed it was relatively safe, since he had already liked me. He’s been responding to my messages (only about 4 messages on each side so far) but he hasn’t been making much of an effort to keep the conversation flowing – he doesn’t really ask follow up questions or ask about me, and I’ve tried to keep the conversation light/friendly but he responds in kind of a bland way. I really want to give him the benefit of the doubt and meet him in person, because I know “chat” chemistry is very different from in person chemistry, but I don’t want to be the one to ask him out (call me old fashioned, but I’d like to be asked out and not do all of the chasing). But I’m not sure what to make of it so if anyone could weigh in on any of these questions it would be super helpful!
lovelies25ParticipantMay 9, 2015 at 7:55 pm #78683
1. If a girl sends the first message, would the guy expect her to also be the one to suggest meeting up?
2. Do guys typically continue to respond to messages if they’re not interested?
3. If a guy (who liked my profile) isn’t really asking any follow up questions or being flirtatious at all, is it likely he’s just not interested?
4. Any tips on what to do now? Stop pursuing the conversation? Tell him I’d be down to get coffee sometime if he wants?
JeffSParticipantMay 9, 2015 at 8:41 pm #78685
A lot of times I don’t know what to say to women even if I have things in common with them. But usually its the reverse with women not contributing to a conversation. I always assume they can contribute to a conversation, they are choosing not to with me. I’ve asked them out anyway. I never saw any correlation between quality of online conversation and quality of the date in person.
If someone interesting messages me, I’ll be just as eager to talk to them and meet them as anyone else I find interesting. If they’re profile isn’t what I am looking for, I won’t message them back.
A lot of women “like” my profile and then ignore my message, it happens. When someone likes my profile, if I like theirs I’ll message them first. I don’t like profiles because I message women I am interested in instead.
I wouldn’t imagine that he will go from bland answers and no follow up questions to contributing to a conversation and asking you out. I would ask him out if I were you, if anything good happens, you’ll be glad you did.
EndorphineParticipantJune 5, 2015 at 3:49 pm #80327
Oh i’d really like to read more male’s opinions about this. You’ve made some interesting questions there lovelies25
AnonymousInactiveJune 6, 2015 at 4:03 pm #80337
some will message out of respect. i always did.
StrictlySaucersParticipantJune 7, 2015 at 2:27 am #80354
If a girl sends the first message, I wouldn’t expect her to ask me out, but I’d expect her to keep the conversation going. I’ll actually respond to the first couple messages, then I just drop off. Lately, I’ve been wondering if it’d be better to not reply at all. I want to be friendly, but I don’t want to lead on at the same time. If I like a girl, but don’t follow up, then I thought she was a babe, but nothing in her profile caught my attention beyond that. If he’s not asking you any questions, he’s likely not interested in the same thing you are and if you did meet up, what makes you think the date would go different?
AnonymousInactiveJune 7, 2015 at 5:12 am #80358
I am not the expert in the topic, but I think your online dating profile says it all. If he likes the profile, you will surely receive a follow-up message.
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