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universelifeParticipantApril 17, 2014 at 8:33 pm #51432
My BF and I have been dating for a year, relationship is great we laugh and laugh all the time, chemistry is just ridiculous! He is protective, affectionate, he always makes me happy when i have a bad day, I do the same for him.
OUT OF THE BLUE he starts telling me how stressed out he is and complaining about having serious issues related to work/dealing with lawyers.
EVERY morning he texts me a funny pic to make me laugh or wishes me a nice day. that day didn’t hear from him So I text to see if he was ok n he replied “no, I am not ok. I’m stressing out, I am sorry I cant talk”
Two days after i get a long email from him. He said he had to travel all month to solve major issues at several offices around the country and he doesnt have the time i deserve that when everything gets solve he hopes i will still talk to him.
I never responded to his email.
Its been a month. I haven’t heard from him either.
mephestoParticipantApril 20, 2014 at 2:39 pm #51524
Sorry, that’s rough, and confusing.
Sometimes when we are extremely stressed, and feel cornered in one area of our lives we take it out in other areas where we feel more comfortable.
If he was feeling powerless in his situation at work, and wanted to be freed from that, but was afraid to quit, your relationship may have been the area where he decided he was able to take control of.
It sucks, and frankly its pretty childish to just disappear, everyone deserves closure. Not knowing makes things all the worse. He may be having a breakdown of some kind, and he may eventually want to get back together.
I would avoid it, because if this is how he handles stress, then how could you possibly count on him being there when times get really tough, and you need him to be strong and a part of your team?
- This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by mephesto.
Blue BellaParticipantApril 21, 2014 at 10:40 pm #51588
Nobody should shut someone they care about out for so long. I understand that he needed time & you respectfully have given him that… at his request.
Stop bending to his needs & put yourself first. Maybe respond to his email and explain that you were just giving him some space & that you also needed time to digest this. Tell him that it is your choice what you do and don’t deserve in life and therefore it should be your decision whether you want to support him (though distant) through these rough times he is having – he shouldn’t cast you out.
We all go through bad times, but that doesn’t mean we have to shut those we most care about out – even though we think we are protecting them or not wanting them to see us in bad light. Love conquers all & we can grow even closer by going through these testing times together.
maestrakkParticipantMay 4, 2014 at 3:43 pm #52162
I’m sorry this happened. I totally get wanting to know what happened. But I agree with the previous two posts. Whatever the reason, he is not for you. The best thing you can do – as much as it sucks – is move on.
JamieF99ParticipantAugust 10, 2018 at 12:19 am #181262
Why didn’t you respond to his email? Was it because you thought he was playing you?
As a busy guy myself, I’ve gone through phases with girlfriends where I’m so stressed out rigging PA gear and band practice I can’t talk to them. The root of this was ultimately that I didn’t trust them (or like them) enough to utilize them to alleviate my stress.
My best advice?
Let him know you’re an open set of ears. If he means enough to you to post a thread on him, introgaze for a moment. By talking to you is he accumulating more stress than he can handle when already pressured? If so, he likes you, but when he’s stressed your contact worsens it for him. Perhaps you should change your conversation style and and general demeanor towards him.
Again not gospel, but it’s worth a shot. Hope I could help:)
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