He likes me but…

DATING ADVICE FORUM

He likes me but…

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  • Hayley Matthews Hayley Matthews
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    melika
    melika
    Participant
    December 21, 2018 at 3:08 pm #191593
    He likes me but…

    So I recently found out that a guy I work with indirectly likes me (a lot) but doesn’t think we should date or go past the current situation where we flirt every time he’s in the office for two reasons – 1. the professional relationship that exists, and 2. he’s not looking for a girlfriend. I really like him and we’ve been flirting with each other for almost 6 years. I also didn’t find this out directly – a co-worker asked him directly what he thought of me. She then turned around and said we can now start looking for someone else for me, an idea that I’m not too keen on. Is asking him to talk before work heads back a reasonable request? I want to find out exactly what the situation is, why he isn’t interested in a girlfriend, and if we can work this out somehow but I’m concerned that it will ruin what we already have and he’s one of those people that comes into your life that you don’t want to lose. Any advice would be appreciated.

    Lillyinrain
    Lillyinrain
    Participant
    December 22, 2018 at 3:55 pm #191609

    dating at workplace is doable but you need to be careful.

    dashingscorpio
    dashingscorpio
    Participant
    December 24, 2018 at 1:00 pm #191657

    ” a guy I work with indirectly likes me (a lot) but doesn’t think we should date ..”
    ” he’s not looking for a girlfriend.”

    After your friend correctly suggests you move on your response is: “an idea that I’m not too keen on.”

    If someone {does not want to be with you} accept the rejection and move on!
    In a world with over 7 Billion people rejection just means: NEXT!

    Some women just love a guy who is a “challenge”/unavailable.

    You could stick such a woman in a room with five guys and have four of them drop to their knees extending her their heart.
    While the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she does not exist.
    That’s the guy she will want to get to know! (He’s a mystery, a challenge, and she has to prove she can win him over.)

    “We ignore those who adore us and adore those who ignore us.” seems to be their mantra

    At the very least a “soulmate” is someone who actually WANTS to be with YOU!
    Listen to your friend and move on. Best wishes!

    melika
    melika
    Participant
    December 26, 2018 at 7:35 am #191627

    Yeah, aware of the issues when in the same workplace – especially if it goes south. He’s in for only a few hours a week and I only see him for 15 mins only if I have issues for him to resolve.

    melika
    melika
    Participant
    December 26, 2018 at 9:59 pm #191695

    Not being too keen on moving on in this case means that it’s taken 5 years for me to get to this point due to psychological, financial and sexual abuse by a former partner. If I “move on” with someone else it’s going to be another 5 years before I’m comfortable finding someone, and 5 years after that before I’m comfortable with the THOUGHT of them getting close.

    wolfe369
    wolfe369
    Participant
    December 27, 2018 at 8:27 am #191703

    Do not chase him and tie yourself to him move on and if he is really interested he will come around.

    melika
    melika
    Participant
    December 27, 2018 at 8:29 pm #191721
    Reply To: He likes me but…

    You had me up until you mentioned the Lord, then it ruined all credibility to your response.

    funkymonkey
    funkymonkey
    Participant
    January 5, 2019 at 10:09 am #191955
    Reply To: He likes me but…

    If you’re close enough with him then ask him about it. The better option would be to move on. If this has been going on for six years and he still isn’t committed to you, take it as a rejection and quit wasting time on him. You deserve someone who’ll care about you and wants to be with you, not just flirt. Hope this helps <3

    devdo
    devdo
    Participant
    January 10, 2019 at 12:13 am #192284

    To answer your question in the most polite manner; most educated men don’t want to be in a relationship. They have been burned so many times before and have learned to stay away from commitments. Hookups are another story.